Semi-Hypothetical: What's the cheapest/fastest you could change rod bearings?

[Crazy_pilot]

Disclaimer: I know this is "wrong". I don't care, please just answer the question.

The SVX spun a bearing. It's been getting there for a while, but it's gone now. Hideous knock on start until it's got oil pressure, and mild knock at all times. I was planning on rebuilding the engine next winter, but this has forced my hand a bit. The big problem is that I'm at school, 1000 miles from home. I have to get the car back, or scrap it here (not happening).

My options:

-u-Haul 10' truck and car hauler: ~$1,700 (We were going to rent a van anyway to get stuff back)
-Have a number of quotes sent to shipping companies. Last time I checked it would be around $1500.
-Rebuild the motor.

Now, the question I asked: Lets say you pulled the engine, stripped it down, pulled the wrist pins, split the block without actually removing the pistons, popped the rods, had the crank polished, and re-assebled with new rod bearings. What would I need? I have all the internal o-rings remaining in my gasket set, everything else is new from this past summer (~1500 miles on a head gasket job). New head gaskets, obviously, but other than that?

I know very well that's not the correct way to rebuild an engine, but could it be done to make a 1000 mile trip?