"HAY Cletus turn off that thar heater!"

[NikFu S.]

"The heater ain't even on, dummy!"

"Oh!
...
Ey why we shoutin' again?!"

"Soz I can hear over the flames shootin' out the side of the hood!"

"Oh! Are we gonna dah, Clete?!"

"Naw mainer I'm on ma celly phone with the fire department they comin' to put my van out of it's misery!"

"Why yew still drivin' eit?!"

"So we can git there faster, dummy!"


True story.

On my lunch hour heading to the gas station I swear I saw flames coming from under the engine of some old Econoline and the driver yapping away on his cell. Yes he was driving.

Sure enough not even 8 minutes later I get back to Lowe's and see the boys in red dousing this van on the side of the road, fenders all charred,smoke billowing into the parking lot and people making with the rubbernecking.

This is why it's important to have your vehicle serviced by competent mechanics.

On a side note, not but ten minutes before this a coworker still fresh from Vegas hotrodding and his 14 musclecars says my belt is squealing because it's loose.
Also now that I think of it there was a really crappy looking van getting a jump about two spaces away when we were looking at my engine.

Must have been the same Cletus.