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  #76  
Old 05-24-2005, 12:10 PM
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Budfreak Budfreak is offline
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just hang in there and do what you feel is right.



yay! i got post number 40,000 in not exactly svx!
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  #77  
Old 05-24-2005, 07:33 PM
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Jeff,
DO NOT worry about what other people might think about your decisions. It is YOU that have to live with them, not someone else. You have to do what you think is right, and I am certain that you have your girls in mind more than yourself, and that's good!!

Do what your heart tells you. But don't say you will never forgive her. Forgiving can be very good for the soul.

Harry
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  #78  
Old 05-26-2005, 07:01 PM
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Subafreak Subafreak is offline
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Wow man, reading this is bringing up all those feelings again. I know EXACTLY how you feel.

I know how you feel about everything you do now on with her. Is it just things that the other guy did to make her like him? I felt (and still feel a little) like all these new things she tells me or wants me to do are all things she got from him. It would have been fine if she just came out and told me before but....now, knowing what I know, I feel like she is just trying to make me more like him. And it makes it hard to go along with, I want to do these things to make her happy and make our relationship better, but I just feel like I'm trying to be him to keep her from feeling like she needs to go back.

Even after I found out and told her it had to end, I found messages and calls to him on her phone, so I had to yell at her agian. She said she wasn't doing anything with him now but he was still a freind. I told her that would have been fine if she never slept with him but now it had to be non of him or non of me. She seems to have straitened out and got it together, I haven't found any evidence of her comunicating with him but they do work in the same building so I can't prove it.

It's been awile now since that happened and things really are better between us now. Still there is always that uneasy feeling that what happened once could happen again, and I feel like I need to try harder all the time now becouse "he" is still out there and I'm sure ready to be a shoulder to cry on if needed.

Anyway, Jeff I think you still got my number if you want to talk. It's still pretty fresh in my mind.
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  #79  
Old 05-27-2005, 03:16 PM
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Jeff,
Jesse hit on a lot of good points that, while painful, are important for all us "males" out here....
1. Relationships do evolve as we "change" over time....part of keeping your relationship strong and "together" is recognizing this fact and doing things to continue to grow together instead of apart. How many divorces do we all know about that are based on the husband and wife being "different from the one I married"??
2. We (males) are our own worst enemies in many cases...I would venture (not having had the time to see if there are actually any concrete study results in this area) that the majority of males - faced with a beautiful female - do not immediately think to ask her what it is that she's having issues with in her relationship and suggest ways that she can improve things with her husband. We just had a family in our neighborhood break up due to the wife hooking up with the husband's best friend! Kinda makes you want to apologize for the male gender....
3. Trust is built over time and, once broken, takes even longer to rebuild. Communication becomes even more important in these instances.

-Bill
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  #80  
Old 05-27-2005, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SVXRide
Jeff,
We just had a family in our neighborhood break up due to the wife hooking up with the husband's best friend! Kinda makes you want to apologize for the male gender....
3. Trust is built over time and, once broken, takes even longer to rebuild. Communication becomes even more important in these instances.

-Bill
In my case, I had that happen and it was trust that got me in that situation. I thought something was wrong, and "trusted" and I shouldn't have.

I have had 2 women have affairs on me and afterwards they said that it wasn't me, it was them. They thought they wanted something different.

I have learned one thing from this - Men marry a woman wanting them to stay the same, and women marry a man and want them to change. Women change, and men don't. That is where most of our problems start.
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Last edited by ensteele; 05-29-2005 at 11:40 PM.
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  #81  
Old 05-27-2005, 04:43 PM
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Earthworm Earthworm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ensteele
Men marry a woman wanting them to stay the same, and women marry a man and what them to change. Women change, and men don't. That is where most of our problems start.
That is so true!
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  #82  
Old 05-28-2005, 02:03 AM
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Matthewmongan Matthewmongan is offline
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i heard this great song on the oldies channel. it went "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make a preaty woman your wife. from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you" i have heard this song a few hundred times before but never listened to the lyrics. odd.
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