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#1
12-09-2002, 03:23 PM
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Just got my weekly "Car Talk" newsletter And this is still O/T
I love this joke.... I guess because I know some people that fit the rolls...... For those of you who don't know Tom And Ray.
"our fair city" is Boston... Three professors from Our Fair City go down to Mexico one night, get arrested, and wake up in jail only to find out that they are to be executed in the morning, although none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Harvard School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die and they let him go. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words, "I am from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy's side, so they let him go, too. The last one is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from MIT, and I'll tell you right now you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't connect them two wires!" 
__________________
Mitch Hansen
"uncamitzi" This is a Dark Ride 92 Teal SVX LS-L 128K tranny swap with 4.11's Well.. my days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle . 
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#2
12-09-2002, 03:27 PM
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that's OLD - just substitute priest, lawyer, and engineer for the "professors".
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Alan 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD!  1997 SVX LSi (Ebony) SOLD! 2005 Legacy GT (Silver) [Cobb Stg 2+] SOLD! 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD! 2005 Forester XT Premium (Crystal Gray Metallic) SOLD! 2008 Lancer Evolution X MR (Apex Silver) [Cobb Stg 1+] 2015 Outlander Sport 2.4GT AWD (Mercury Gray) 2013 G37xS (Obsidian Black)
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#3
12-09-2002, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mitch Hansen
"uncamitzi" This is a Dark Ride 92 Teal SVX LS-L 128K tranny swap with 4.11's Well.. my days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle .
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#4
12-09-2002, 04:17 PM
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Quote:
I know that joke's old, but, I still like it. Thanks, Mitch.
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI
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#5
12-09-2002, 04:35 PM
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It's new to me...but I don't get out much.
Randy (Sheltered life) ii
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#6
12-09-2002, 05:09 PM
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I got a new joke!! Entirely new!!
Why did the SVX driver cross the road?? To get to the tranny shop!  -adam
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#7
12-09-2002, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Alan 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD! 1997 SVX LSi (Ebony) SOLD! 2005 Legacy GT (Silver) [Cobb Stg 2+] SOLD! 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD! 2005 Forester XT Premium (Crystal Gray Metallic) SOLD! 2008 Lancer Evolution X MR (Apex Silver) [Cobb Stg 1+] 2015 Outlander Sport 2.4GT AWD (Mercury Gray) 2013 G37xS (Obsidian Black)
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#8
12-09-2002, 05:42 PM
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its stewardessess FYI.
- Ca$h
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#9
12-09-2002, 05:52 PM
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this one is old and stupid, but it still cracks me up:
a duck walks into a bar... Duck: Do you have any grapes? Bartender: No, we don't have any grapes - this is a bar!?!?! Get outta here!!! Duck leaves and returns the next day. Duck: Do you have any grapes? Bartender: No, i told you that yesterday!!! Now get outta here! Duck leaves and returns the next day. Duck: Do you have any grapes? Bartender: Listen, i told you i don't have any grapes, and you still keep asking. The next time you ask for grapes i'm gonna nail your beak to the bar!!!! Now get outta here! Duck leaves and returns the next day. Duck: Do you have a hammer? Bartender: Well, no i don't have a ....... Duck: Do you have any grapes?
__________________
Alan 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD! 1997 SVX LSi (Ebony) SOLD! 2005 Legacy GT (Silver) [Cobb Stg 2+] SOLD! 1987 928 S4 (Black) SOLD! 2005 Forester XT Premium (Crystal Gray Metallic) SOLD! 2008 Lancer Evolution X MR (Apex Silver) [Cobb Stg 1+] 2015 Outlander Sport 2.4GT AWD (Mercury Gray) 2013 G37xS (Obsidian Black)
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#10
12-09-2002, 05:57 PM
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Variant
Mitch
I like that one a lot. All the best jokes have either social sensibilities or prejudice built in, and/or the humour is pychological. My version, same joke, different setting. Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Englishman and Paddy the Frenchman have been arrested on the streets of Paris during the French Revolution for being far too well dressed. Short court appearance, and off to visit Mme le Guillotine. They are offered the choice of seeing the blade or seeing the bucket. First up, Paddy the Frenchman says "I am innocent, I do not want to see injustice coming my way." He is placed face down, lever pulled, nothing happens. Crowd goes Ooooohhh, and the MC says "This man must be innocent, he is free!" Paddy the Englishman says, "I also am innocent, I refuse to look up to my doom" Lever pulled, same result, he also is freed. Paddy the Irishman says "I am as innocent as these, and have nothing to fear, I will face the blade" He is lowered into place facing the heavy blade. Crowd is very quiet. Just as the lever is due to be pulled, Paddy the Irishman says "Hold on boys!, I think I see what's been catching that lever!!" Eh????Eh?? Joe 
__________________
Black Betty [Bam a Lam!] '93 UK spec, still languishing Betty Jersey Girl Silver '92 UK [Channel Isles] 40K Jersey Girl @ Mersea Candy Purple Honda Blackbird Plum Dangerous White X2 RVR Mitsubishi 1800GDI. Vantastic 40,000 miles Jersey Girl 
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#11
12-09-2002, 06:19 PM
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One for the road
A traveling salesman is negotiating the back roads of West Virginia when he rounds a turn on the dirt road and confronts a GIGANTIC mud puddle. Befuddled by the puddle, and leary to cross it, he spys a local farmer working on his tractor nearby. Rolling down the window, the salesman addresses the farmer..."Sir, is it safe for me to drive through that puddle?" The farmer, looking up from his work replies..."Shure!" (pronounced "shower") The salesman drives forward and into the muddy puddle.....and the car completely disappears. A few moments later, the salesman surfaces...coughing and spewing...and swims over to the edge of the puddle where he pulls himself out with great difficulty. Gasping for breath, the salesman turns to the farmer, and with no small amount of anger in his voice said.."I thought you said it was OK to cross that thing!" The farmer, who has observed all this with genuine puzzlement, scratches his head and replies...
" I don't understand it! ( He then holds his palm at waist level) It only came up to here on the ducks!" Don
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Cats: Clio, Inky, Sheba, Sparky, Rocky, Cali, Scooter 3 cars: 02 SVT Focus, 2012 Versa...2015 Fiat 500 currently SVX-less 1 wife ("She, who must be obeyed..") "One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries"
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#12
12-09-2002, 06:21 PM
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Ca$h-
Wrong thread I almost did the same thing.. -a
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#13
12-09-2002, 06:49 PM
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As a civil service employee of the US Dept of Defense I found this one...amusing.
A guy walks into a bar wearing a trench coat and carrying a bucket of cow manure. He justs stands in the middle of the bar for awhile, then pulls out a shotgun from under his coat, tosses the manure bucket in the air and blasts it before walking out. A week later he walks in again, same scenario. Bartender goes up to him and says, "Hold on buddy. What's up with you? We just got the place cleaned up from last week!" The guy replies, "I'm just preparing for a Government job. You know, stand around, shoot the sh%t, then go home."
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#14
12-09-2002, 07:19 PM
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lol...yeah they're all old but I still laugh at them
__________________
Pearl '92 LS-L 179K (Historic 1st 5-speed SVX) Mods: 5-speed, 4.11's, Group-N motor mounts, dual Magnaflows, cone air filter, Kenwood MP-228 CD/Receiver, white-faced gauges, '97 grill, custom window tinting. Ebony Mica '92 LS 80K Oct 2002 - Dec 2004: Victim of theft. She served me well. You can tell the lack of craftsmanship by the wrinkles in the duct tape.
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#15
12-09-2002, 10:40 PM
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OK.... Bill Clinton, a rabbi wearing a black trench coat, a priest with a diamond tongue stud & a frog walked into...actually the frog hopped, into a medieval gay bar. There was duck behind the bar eating grapes. The rabbi opened his trench coat, pointed to the guilotine in the corner of the bar, turned to Clinton and said, "Oy, I tink .... Oh, crap. You heard it?
Nevermind. Ron.
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Good s**t happened.  69 was worth the wait.'92 stock semi-pristine ebony - 160K '96 Grand Caravan - 240K '01 Miata SE - 79K '07 Chrysler Pacifica - 60k - future money pit. Last edited by Ron Mummert; 12-09-2002 at 10:42 PM.
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