Wanted: Raise

[JaySVX]

The Penis Wants A Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise for the following reasons:

1: I do physical labor.
2: I work at great depths.
3: I plunge head first into everything I do.
4: I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5: I work in a damp environment.
6: I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7: I work in high temperatures.
8: My work exposes me to diseases.


Reply:

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raise, the management team denies your request for the following reasons:

1 - You do not work 8 hours straight.
2 - You work in SHORT SPURTS and fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3 - You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4 - You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5 - You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6 - You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift.
7 - You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8 - You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9 - You are unable to work double shifts.
10 - You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11 - And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The management.

[shelfy]

yikes! 123