O/T Joke

wasions · #1 01-30-2002, 11:08 AM

Got this from my brother (a pastor in Chicago) this a. (so it's probably been all over the internet by now).

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do, of course, is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could,and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

wasions · #2 01-30-2002, 11:14 AM

He's on a roll today.

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long.

And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"

Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again...

scroll down for more...

DON'T YA JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES!

Aredubjay · #3 01-30-2002, 12:08 PM

OB!

I was about to have you forwarded to the "Sleezy Romance Novel World Network."

SVXphile · #4 01-30-2002, 02:14 PM

ROTFLMBO! Those were great Steve, but you have to be careful with those long, drawn-out punch lines.... Randy overheats easily. He hasn't got one of those coolers with a thermostatic fan yet...

Don

svxter · #5 01-30-2002, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVXphile
ROTFLMBO! Those were great Steve, but you have to be careful with those long, drawn-out punch lines.... Randy overheats easily. He hasn't got one of those coolers with a thermostatic fan yet... Don

Nor is anyone handy to douse him with a cooler full of Gator-aide, like they do at those football games.

SVXphile · #6 01-30-2002, 05:47 PM

I hate that too. Getting dumped on by Gator-aide is a croc.....

Don

Ron Mummert · #7 01-30-2002, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wasions
He's on a roll today.

DON'T YA JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES!

It's funny how jokes keep coming around. I heard a variation on this one 40 years ago. The shoe salesman was a dentist, the customer was his patient. "she was reluctant to open up, but he assured her he'd be gentle", etc., etc.
Ron.

LarryIII · #8 01-31-2002, 04:53 AM

Steve,

As a young child, I went to confession on a Saturday. I told the priest that I had kissed a nun. He assured me that it was not a sin as long as I didn't get into the habit.

Larry III
(Old jokes never die)