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The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
It's a beautiful morning here in the Emerald Isle.
A Happy St Patrick's Day to all my friends on the SVX Network. Wherever you are, may the sun shine on your parade and the froth stay healthy on your beer. Joe
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Black Betty [Bam a Lam!] '93 UK spec, still languishing Betty Jersey Girl Silver '92 UK [Channel Isles] 40K Jersey Girl @ Mersea Candy Purple Honda Blackbird Plum Dangerous White X2 RVR Mitsubishi 1800GDI. Vantastic 40,000 miles Jersey Girl Last edited by svxistentialist; 03-17-2009 at 03:47 AM. |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Yay green beer day!!!
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Matt 15 OBW premium w/eyesight A picture of an SVX in the garage |
#3
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Since it is St. Paddy's Day, I believe that it's time for a wee bit of Irish humor. So enjoy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Errand McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave, "S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?" "Nothin', said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!" *********************************************** The Lost Luggage An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?" "The cork fell out!" said the Irishman. *********************************************** Water to wine An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" *********************************************** The Brothel Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad." Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are falling' victim to temptation." Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill." *********************************************** Lost at Sea Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat! *********************************************** The Fall Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!!" ************************************************** ******** You've Been Drinking Again An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. Again, he fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
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Larry III & The Beautiful Naviguesser '19 Tungsten Pearl Outback 3.6R Ltd...."AISHA" '08 Harvest Gold Outback 3.0L. L. L. Bean...."AIJOU" '07 Gray Diamond Pearl Outback XT Ltd..."AH SO" '05 White Pearl & Silver BAJA Turbo..."AH HA" '97 Bordeaux Pearl SVX LSi..."SUBYDOO" '94 White Pearl SVX LSi..."PEARLY" '92 White Pearl SVX LSL w/touring pkg..."SVXY" '92 Teal SVX LSL w/touring pkg..."ALCYONE" '96 Polo Green LSi ... "MIDORI" '00 Black Dodge VIPER RT-10... "VINNIE" Engineers do it with precision. English teachers are novel lovers. Home: larrysingeriii@comcast.net SVX FEVER, CATCH IT AT A MEET NEAR YOU !! |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Excellent jokes. Happy St. Patricks Day.
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
lol good jokes sadley i forgot yesterday was St Patricks day. I knew it was comming . only relised it was when i drove past to chicky babes, one wearing a tight green dress and green hat and the other a very short green skirt. must had been heading off to goin clubing
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1992 NZDM SVX Maroonish Red/Black ( 1st car ive owned with an cd player ) Has been retired 1989 Vortex 6 Maroon 1983 RX Silver Grey 1973 1400 GSR Yelo 2 Door Coupe awaiting Restoration Last edited by subbieatnz; 03-17-2009 at 06:29 AM. |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
ThanQ
May the wind be always on your back. |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
A Happy St Patrick's Day to all.
May your Brew be cold, and your farts free of surprises!
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"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." 92' Subaru SVX LS-L Claret http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3214312 for the pics and stuff
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Happy St Patricks Day to everyone!
some of you might enjoy this video entitled F*#$ you i'm drunk (NWS as far as language) by Bondo. (Click link, as I did not want to post video in forums)
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1994 SVX L - FWD Barcelona Red 190K miles ~ SOLD 1994 SVX LS - 5spd AWD Emerald Green 202k miles PWR Radiator, HID 5000k, New paint job with issues, 17" STI BBS wheels, converted to 5spd AWD from FWD. Purchased from SVXyGirl 2/20/09 -- Undergoing complete rebuild 1993 Justy 4wd 5door- Teal of sorts , beater. 2008 OBXT Newport Pearl 65k miles |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Looking over these posts, I get the idea that Saint Patrick's day is not just about cornbeef and cabbage
Thanks, Joe Excellent jokes, LarryIII Happy Saint Patrick's day to all!!!! Keith |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Éirinn go brách!
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Prime Сasual Dating |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
One more,
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’ The owner comes over asks if he can help them. ‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry’s truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, ‘Dis looks like a grand place.’ He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook’n dangerous for me!’ THERE’S MORE... Moment’s later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He’s been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. ‘Hi, Paddy, watch dis,’ Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘And I’m never trying dat parrotshooting either!’ IT IS NOT OVER YET... Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He’s also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head.’Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook’n hengliding!’ Harvey.
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One Arm Bloke. Tell it like it is! 95 Lsi. Bordeaux Pearl, Aust. RHD.149,000Kls Subaru BBS wheels. 97 Liberty GX Auto sedan. 320,000Kls. 04 Liberty 30R Auto Premium. 92.000kls. |
#12
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Have a good one - I'm going for a Guinness! You made me thirsty.
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. Earl .... ... .... ><SVX(*> Subaru Ambassador [COLOR=”silver”]1992 Tri Color L[/COLOR] ~45K (06/91) #2430 1992 Dark Teal LS-L ~184K (05/91) #0739 1992 Claret LS-L ~196K (05/91) #0831 1992 Pearl LS-L ~103K (06/91) #1680 1992 Pearl LS-L ~151K (06/91) #2229 1992 Dark Teal LS ~150K (07/91) #3098 (parts car) 1992 White LS-L ~139K (08/92) #6913 1993 25th AE ~98K (02/93) #164 1993 25th AE ~58K (02/93) #176 1993 25th AE ~107K (02/93) #215 1993 25th AE ~162K (02/93) #223 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~124K (1/94) #2408 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~144K (10/93) #1484 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~68K (10/93) #1525 1994 Barcelona Red LSi ~46K (02/94) #2624 1994 Pearl LSi ~41K (12/93) #1961 1995 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~70K (02/95) #855 1996 Polo Green LSi ~95K (03/96) #872 1997 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~55K (08/96) #097 2003 Brilliant Red LS1 Convertible ~29K (04/03) #8951 1999 Magnetic Red LS1 Coupe ~33K (04/99) #6420 My Email | Old Locker | New Locker | Picture of 15 of the 19 |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Quote:
Dangit we need the "This thread is useless without pics" line of smileys...
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1992 SVX LS-L #1222 Pearl White 1987 GL Turbo wagon, 5 lug conversion, D/R 5 speed (Rice killer) 1992 Dodge Ram 4x4 diesel (car hauler) 1968 Dodge Polara convertible (Camaro killer) 1990 Toyota Corolla FWD auto (330,000 mile grocery getter) 1986 VW Jetta |
#14
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
sorry lol sadly i didnt have a camera with me
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1992 NZDM SVX Maroonish Red/Black ( 1st car ive owned with an cd player ) Has been retired 1989 Vortex 6 Maroon 1983 RX Silver Grey 1973 1400 GSR Yelo 2 Door Coupe awaiting Restoration |
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Re: The Top O' the Morning to Ye!
Harvey,
These are for next years St. Patrick's Day. A GUIDE FOR YOU FOR ST PATRICK'S DAY IRISH BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE: 1. SYMPTOM 2. CAUSE 3. CORRECTIVE ACTION: 1. Feet cold and wet. 2. Glass Being held at incorrect angle. 3. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. 1. Feet warm and wet. 2. Improper Bladder Control. 3. Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training. 1. Beer unusually pale and tasteless. 2a. Glass empty. 2 b. You're holding a Coors Lite. 3. Get someone to buy you another beer. 1. Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. 2. You have fallen over backward. 3. Have yourself leashed to the bar. 1. Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes. 2. You have fallen forward. 3. See above. 1. Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. 2 a. Mouth not open. 2 b. Glass applied to wrong part of face. 3. Retire to restroom, practice in front of mirror. 1. Floor Blurred. 2. You are looking through bottom of empty glass. 3. Get someone to buy you another beer. 1. Floor moving. 2. You are being carried out. 3. Find out if you are being taken to another bar. 1. Room seems unusually dark. 2. Bar has closed. 3. Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run. 1. Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. 2. Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. 3. Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside. 1. Everyone looks up to you and smiles. 2. You are dancing on the table. 3. Fall on someone cushy-looking. 1. Beer is crystal-clear. ? 2. It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up. 3. Punch him. 1. Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. 2. You have been in a fight. 3. Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. 1. Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. 2. You've wandered into the wrong party. 3. See if they have free beer. For the ladies: 1. People are standing around urinals, talking. ? ? ? 2. You're NOT in the ladies' room. 3. Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers before exiting (optional). For the gentlemen: 1. Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk. 2a. You're in jail. 2b. You're in the navy. 3. Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach. 1. You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps. 2. You're in a gay bar. 3. Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs. 1. Your singing sounds distorted. 2. The beer is too weak. 3. Have more beer until your voice improves. 1. Don't remember the words to the song. 2. Beer is just right. 3. Play air guitar.
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Larry III & The Beautiful Naviguesser '19 Tungsten Pearl Outback 3.6R Ltd...."AISHA" '08 Harvest Gold Outback 3.0L. L. L. Bean...."AIJOU" '07 Gray Diamond Pearl Outback XT Ltd..."AH SO" '05 White Pearl & Silver BAJA Turbo..."AH HA" '97 Bordeaux Pearl SVX LSi..."SUBYDOO" '94 White Pearl SVX LSi..."PEARLY" '92 White Pearl SVX LSL w/touring pkg..."SVXY" '92 Teal SVX LSL w/touring pkg..."ALCYONE" '96 Polo Green LSi ... "MIDORI" '00 Black Dodge VIPER RT-10... "VINNIE" Engineers do it with precision. English teachers are novel lovers. Home: larrysingeriii@comcast.net SVX FEVER, CATCH IT AT A MEET NEAR YOU !! |
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