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Smile A While
Just for grins.
Subject: Tips for Husbands Husbands...how to prevent being dragged along on shopping trips!!! Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below. Mr. Wally Underpants President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Compla ints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping: 1. June 15: Took 24 b! oxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code 3' in House wares..... And watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the anti depressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And; last, but not least!) 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, s! hut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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SVXx2 92 SVX LS-L Silver 92 SVX LS-L Burgundy (structurally challenged with 2792 miles) 96 SVX LSi Red 92 SVX LS Pearl (Parts) 01 F150 4X4 Red (+6 with other members of the family) FREEDOM IS NOT FREE |
#2
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That was funny. Made me laugh out loud a few times.
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Robert Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me. Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup?? 1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!) |
#3
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Ooohh.... I liked that one!
I'm tempted to pass it along to my Dad |
#4
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that was good!
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Matt Locker Link 2015 BRZ Limited 6MT 92 Ebony LS-L ECUtune Stage2av1, Z32 MAF, 370cc injectors, TomsSVX intake, BontragerWorks 22mm RSB #003, HID Hi and Lo beams, OT endlink and bushing mods, PWR Aluminum radiator, Harvey's QC shift kit, 2.5" flowmaster 80 exhaust, 17" Michelin Pilot Sport A/S, Poly sway bar bushings, Slotted Bradi rotors, AFBeefcake powdercoated calipers, 97 grill, and a huge set of air horns. 300,000 miles and counting 92 Ebony LS-L. ecutune stage1v4, motorsport 1pc pulley. Garage Queen - sold to Dad in upstate NY 155,000 miles 19 Subaru Ascent Premium - -Hers !. 89 DL 4x4 little red wagon - a.k.a. The immortal suby. 275k R.I.P. |
#5
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For Sale on E-Bay
If I may borrow this thread.....
For a chuckle, check out the answers to the buyers questions at the bottom of the page. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...33452260&fvi=1
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Gene and Ben 1992 SVX LS AWD 110K - Liquid Silver 1994 SVX LSi AWD 128K - White Pearl (daily driver) 1994 SVX LSi AWD 95K - Emerald Pearl (sold) 1992 SVX LS-L AWD 115K - Dark Teal 4.44 swap (sold) |
#6
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thats pretty funny
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- John ASE certified Master Tech W/ X1 Twin City Fleet repair, St. Paul, MN need work done? Have tools will travel
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#7
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Very Funny!
Quote:
Not at all--that is why I started this thread--for people to post things that would make us all smile. Lee
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SVXx2 92 SVX LS-L Silver 92 SVX LS-L Burgundy (structurally challenged with 2792 miles) 96 SVX LSi Red 92 SVX LS Pearl (Parts) 01 F150 4X4 Red (+6 with other members of the family) FREEDOM IS NOT FREE |
#8
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Stress Test for those on the Political Forum
I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture.
The picture on the link has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress. Look at the photograph at http://www.subaru-svx.net/photos/files/bwb3/36467.jpg and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation.
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Gene and Ben 1992 SVX LS AWD 110K - Liquid Silver 1994 SVX LSi AWD 128K - White Pearl (daily driver) 1994 SVX LSi AWD 95K - Emerald Pearl (sold) 1992 SVX LS-L AWD 115K - Dark Teal 4.44 swap (sold) |
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Identical
I don't see how they could have ever found two more identical dolphins doing exactly the same thing!!!!!! They must be freaks of nature.
Lee
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SVXx2 92 SVX LS-L Silver 92 SVX LS-L Burgundy (structurally challenged with 2792 miles) 96 SVX LSi Red 92 SVX LS Pearl (Parts) 01 F150 4X4 Red (+6 with other members of the family) FREEDOM IS NOT FREE |
#10
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Southern Grandma
Subject: SOUTHERN GRANDMA
SOUTHERN GRANDMA > > Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." > The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." > The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll hold you in contempt and fine the hell out of you"
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SVXx2 92 SVX LS-L Silver 92 SVX LS-L Burgundy (structurally challenged with 2792 miles) 96 SVX LSi Red 92 SVX LS Pearl (Parts) 01 F150 4X4 Red (+6 with other members of the family) FREEDOM IS NOT FREE |
#11
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. Earl .... ... .... ><SVX(*> Subaru Ambassador [COLOR=”silver”]1992 Tri Color L[/COLOR] ~45K (06/91) #2430 1992 Dark Teal LS-L ~184K (05/91) #0739 1992 Claret LS-L ~196K (05/91) #0831 1992 Pearl LS-L ~103K (06/91) #1680 1992 Pearl LS-L ~151K (06/91) #2229 1992 Dark Teal LS ~150K (07/91) #3098 (parts car) 1992 White LS-L ~139K (08/92) #6913 1993 25th AE ~98K (02/93) #164 1993 25th AE ~58K (02/93) #176 1993 25th AE ~107K (02/93) #215 1993 25th AE ~162K (02/93) #223 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~124K (1/94) #2408 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~144K (10/93) #1484 1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~68K (10/93) #1525 1994 Barcelona Red LSi ~46K (02/94) #2624 1994 Pearl LSi ~41K (12/93) #1961 1995 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~70K (02/95) #855 1996 Polo Green LSi ~95K (03/96) #872 1997 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~55K (08/96) #097 2003 Brilliant Red LS1 Convertible ~29K (04/03) #8951 1999 Magnetic Red LS1 Coupe ~33K (04/99) #6420 My Email | Old Locker | New Locker | Picture of 15 of the 19 |
#12
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Ahh...great thread. Keep em coming
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R.I.P Cool Signature. You're gone but not forgotten. I mean, sure, I kindof don't remember some of the finer details..but I remember you were funny, and at one point you said spaghetti in Dutch....but definantly not forgotten |
#13
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In my boredom I've probably read 1,000,000 jokes and watched numerous funny videos on the net.
Below are two of my favorite flash animations. Disclaimer: You may have seen them already, you need a quirky sense of humor to appreciate them to their full potential, and they're NWS Banana phone End of the World
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-Steve Member #895(the member formerly known as BurgundyBeast) 01' MSM Lexus IS300 |
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Speaking of walmart me and my 2 sons got in line behind a old man and smell something horrible. Of course my 6 year old thinks its the old man points at him and says "I think that old man farted" as loud as he could. Now we make it a point to get behind old people at walmart and make up stuff
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1992 SVX LSL Ex wifey has it now pending self destruction 2001 Legacy mods to come 1992 Subaru Legacy 2.2 214k Boob wheels CANT KILL IT |
#15
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Old Joke
That's like the old joke about the guy and his son behind a fat lady in line at the WalMart register. About that time the ladies Beeper went off and the young son loudly warned---WATCH OUT DAD, SHE IS BACKING UP.
Lee
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SVXx2 92 SVX LS-L Silver 92 SVX LS-L Burgundy (structurally challenged with 2792 miles) 96 SVX LSi Red 92 SVX LS Pearl (Parts) 01 F150 4X4 Red (+6 with other members of the family) FREEDOM IS NOT FREE |
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