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  #1  
Old 06-07-2004, 10:16 PM
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Very off topic, forgive me but i wanted to share the joys of flight :)

I went to Dallas this past weekend to look for apartments for when i move there in a few months. I was on my way back today and I got back home safe and sound despite almost missing my flight.
Ok, I got to the airport about an hour before the flight (not too bad i guess....my ride overslept but its cool) and i got my ticket (I love electronic check-in )and got to the security checkpoint line. I take my shoes off and my laptop out and run my bags through...all the normal things. Well when i get on the other side I put my shoes on and my duffle bag comes through and the lady looks up and says "who's is this?" I walk up and say its mine. She tells me that she needs to look through it. I tell her to go ahead and smile while i let her go through it. She rummages around for a while taking out every single little thing. She then finds my shaving kit and opens it and starts going over every item individually till she finds my little nylon nail kit that has a finger nail scraper thing in it and tells me that I can't take that onboard (so far its been all over the US and no ones had a problem with it before, but ok, whatever) i tell her she can have it. Then i snicker and say (pointing at the can of gravy mix that she had taken out and laid on the conveyor) that I would have thought they would have a bigger problem with me taking a big can of unidentified white powder across state lines than a finger nail cleaner. She didn't laugh, and i think to myself...ah ****, what did i say that for? Instead she calls over another airline security agent, this older black Morgan Freeman looking fellow, and they whisper to each other and point at the can of gravy mix. After a minute they look up and the new agent tells me to come with him to the room next door. "Ah crap" i think to myself and I get my stuff and go into the room and he tells me to take off my shoes again. So i take them off and he looks at them and sets them on the desk. He tells me to take off my shirt so i do that (which i absolutely hate, but if this guy wants to see my tubby ass then so be it). He holds the silly metal detector up and scans me with it and of course doesn't find anything...well not unless i crammed a pistol up my butt. So here I am thinking to myself that if this guy puts on a rubber glove then screw it, i'm going to walk my happy ass back to Kansas.
After the detector comes up with nothing he looks at the can and asks me what is in it. I just tell him that its gravy mix, not that big a deal. He preceeds to tell me how serious security is and how he's there to make sure everyone is safe yada yada yada. Then I guess he noticed the glossy look my eyes were getting and wraps up by saying that i look pretty harmless and tells me i can go. By this time i have like 10 minutes to get from Terminal A to terminal C via the tram. So i haul ass to the tram and get there just before the doors close, slide in and get a seat. It takes forever (at least it seemed like it) to get to the other terminal. I run upstairs and I can hear on the loud speaker "will Melbourne Allen please report to gate C21". I get there and am the last one to board. Fortunatly (that was sarcasm) I was all the way in the back of the plane on row 30 of 32 next to the window on a completely full plane. I find a place to stow my luggage and make my entire row get up so i can get to my seat. The all do it but each have a face that screams they would like to throttle me. Once everything is situated the captain comes on telling us the weather in KC and that we'll be leaving now but will be about 5 minutes behind schedule. I blush but oh well. Next time i'll keep my mouth shut

Ok, thats all guys and gals. Thanks ever so much for letting me share
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  #2  
Old 06-08-2004, 01:11 AM
mark10t
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I had a similar experience in CT regarding my little pocket clipper/scissors/penknife (which I forgot to pack in my checked baggage).

Similar long story with similar results. Not much sense of humor there.................


After about the third time through of one kind of thorough check or another you start to lose your cool.........

-Mark
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  #3  
Old 06-08-2004, 02:26 AM
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I remember a few years ago I had two friends who had made some chain-mail jackets. (It's an SCA thing.) We went to go pick up someone at the airport, and they thought it'd be fun to wear the jackets.

So they did... They got to the metal detectors and tried to walk through. One of them walked really slowly through the gate and it didn't go off until he pulled his trailing foot through, which had a metal buckle or something. Yes, the slow-moving, thirty-five pound jacket made it through, but the fast-moving boot did not.

Anyway, they both had to take off the jackets. The guards turned 'em inside out. It took about three minutes. Meanwhile, I walked through slowly with my Leatherman without setting off the detector (back when that was allowed.) The guards were so distracted, some grade school aged kid walked around the detector unnoticed. A circus clown on a unicycle with a flame-thrower strapped to his back and with the pilot flame lit, could have waltzed (or rolled) right through completely unchecked.

The guards radioed ahead to the second security gate to let them know who was coming and that they were clean. They got frisked anyway. This time, being a little less distracted, they made me walk through at a normal pace and found my Leatherman, which they let me keep, (as they always used to do,) and let us on through.

They still allow backpacks on busses in Israel, yet a senior citizen with tweezers is a serious threat. Times have changed...
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  #4  
Old 06-08-2004, 07:30 AM
SVXer95 SVXer95 is offline
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Although security like this is sadly necessary I think it is better than the alternative.

But, for this very reason I avoid flying whenever possible.
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  #5  
Old 06-08-2004, 07:47 AM
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I just gotta learn...

to keep my big mouth shut! lol. Oh well. Looking back its kinda funny...a little frustrating at the time but oh well. I found the chain mail story above pretty amusing. It sure doesn't take very much to distract these people. The slightest little thing will attract them too you but once they are busy they don't notice anything else at all. This terminal only had one security checkpoint so if someone got passed them while they were concerned with my fingernail cleaner then who knows what could have been snuck in. Current security measures don't impress me much. They are a pain to those who really are safe and hardly a deterant for those that aren't. Ok, i'll stop ranting now.

~Ray
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  #6  
Old 06-08-2004, 08:31 AM
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Yeah, a running mouth can get anyone in trouble with security pretty darn quick! Funny story!

-Chike
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  #7  
Old 06-08-2004, 09:00 PM
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I'd like to know how you could hurt, disable, maim, or kill someone with a set of fingernail clippers........
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  #8  
Old 06-09-2004, 09:59 AM
alacrity024
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Quote:
Originally posted by thndrmtn92svx
I'd like to know how you could hurt, disable, maim, or kill someone with a set of fingernail clippers........
"NOBODY MOVE OR THE B*TCH LOSES A CUTICLE!! I CAN BE IRRITATING!!"
-Robin Williams on the potential deadly use of Fingernail Clippers on an airplane
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  #9  
Old 06-09-2004, 10:46 AM
red95svx
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Quote:
Originally posted by thndrmtn92svx
I'd like to know how you could hurt, disable, maim, or kill someone with a set of fingernail clippers........


If they have a fingernail cleaner / file attached it could easily be used to stab someone in the chest, throat, eye, etc...Remember the box cutters the 9-11 hijackers used? I bet a lot of people thought those were pretty harmless.


I know the searches are annoying, but I'm willing to put up with it in order to not die in some horrific, fiery, 36,000 ft. plung into the ground.



Dave
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  #10  
Old 06-09-2004, 01:31 PM
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I agree but...

They ddn't have a problem with my fingernail cutters. Inside the little nylon pouch of my nail kit is a pair of toe nail clippers, fingernail clippers (both with the files on them) a longer and larger file with a sharp end to it and finally the little finger nail cleaner thing that is sort of rounded and about as sharp as a spoon. That is the thing they had a problem with. They said i could keep the rest. It was ridiculus! Not to mention the gravy mix. They really never gave it a second thought. It very well could have been a container of coke and they didn't even bother with it. Didn't look in it or anything. There were no drug dogs there so they wouldn't have been alerted that way either. The whole security thing is so silly that it doesn't make me feel safe at all. I have a strong feeling that anyone with half a brain (which is more than the security personal seem to have) could pretty much bring anything they wanted onto a plane.
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  #11  
Old 06-10-2004, 03:19 AM
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I'm incredulous that we don't have something more important to worry about, like waterproofing hair-dryers or electromagnetic radiation from wristwatches. We're terminally close to completely paralyzing our air travel system. The overhead costs are already obscene with making sure the aircraft themselves are completely faultless, and now we're trying to ensure that the passengers are also one-hundred-percent benign. What are they gonna do next, forbid anybody with a black belt from getting on a plane?

"Oh no, of course not. Anybody who takes Karate seriously isn't a threat."

And I completely agree with that, except the same logic can be applied to anybody with a concealed pistol license - but we all know that'll never happen. "Guns are too scary."

I used to carry a box knife in my pocket. After 9/11, I started carrying a nasty looking survival knife. I kept getting strange looks when I used the box knife for anything. Tomorrow I probably won't be able to carry my comb because some wacko will use one to torture puppies.

Not to sound too much like a broken record, but what if knives had been allowed? Or guns? You still think 9/11 would have happened? I guess it's hard to say.

Given a choice between two airlines - one that would force Mother Teresa to undergo a "through screening," and the other that only worried about the overtly threatening folks, I assure you the more lax airline would do far more (and far better) business. Their costs would be much lower, their service would be better, and ultimately I think a significantly increased risk would not manifest itself.

The drive to the airport is by far the most dangerous activity of traveling. Terrorist activity affects the terminals more often than it does the aircraft themselves so what's the point of screening at the gate? The rate of incident of little old ladies with terrorist connections hijacking airplanes is only going to increase. It'll only get worse because there's only one way to go from zero! The power of media-incited paranoia is staggering.

Quote:
Originally posted by SVXer95
...for this very reason I avoid flying whenever possible.
...and for this very reason, the terrorists have already won. We've given them exactly what they wanted. They've used our media and our predictable over-reaction to cripple our entire airline system with self-defeating safety measures. I'm not trying to congratulate them by any means, but they really got us good. They planned that pretty well and really screwed us over.

I'm fed up with it. I want to live in a free country, but I get the feeling that nobody else does. ...or maybe nobody's will to make any sacrifices for it.

Life is dangerous. If you can't handle it, maybe it's not for you.

By the way,
THE SKY IS FALLING!!!
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  #12  
Old 06-10-2004, 06:57 AM
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In Oct of 2001, my friend flew from London into DC to Chicago. The usual checks at the DC when he got in and was asked if he was carrying anything. He told them yeah he was carrying a bomb.

The usual crap took place. He was searched and held at the security room. The head of airport security came and yelled at him etc for such a joke. That guy left and he was guarded for a while by a security guard. As it turns out, that's a usual joke that those guys go through everyday at least 4-5 times a day.

My dad works for UN organization in the Middle East. Everytime you cross over from Jordan to Israel even the diplomatic cars are searched (not as throughly as others). One day, one of the drivers was asked what he was hauling into Israel. He innocently said BOMs (Bill out Materials) and the guards thought he was really bringing in bombs. It took him 4 hours to get off from the security area, which normally takes a few minutes for diplomats.

You can still carry what you want on Israeli buses. But if you find anything unattended, get the hell out of that bus quick!!!
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  #13  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:15 PM
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svxcess svxcess is offline
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Re: Very off topic, forgive me but i wanted to share the joys of flight :)

.

I have to admit - this seems an attractive solution to a problem that causes us all grief!




AIRPORT SECURITY SOLUTION


Here's the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners and racial profiling at the airports:

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift.

This is so simple that it's brilliant.

I can see it now. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers... We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 ....

Paging maintenance... Shop-Vac needed in booth number 4."

Sure sounds like a win - win to me!!!!




The hardest part for the engineers to address would be pressure containment, supression, and venting.

.
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  #14  
Old 07-15-2010, 01:31 PM
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Re: Very off topic, forgive me but i wanted to share the joys of flight :)

Brilliant!
Gene
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  #15  
Old 07-15-2010, 10:46 PM
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Re: Very off topic, forgive me but i wanted to share the joys of flight :)

Or another announcement you might here -



Clean up on gate 7
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