Hey Mr. President ---

[immortal_suby]

How To Tell If You Are From Kentucky

1) You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
2) The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
3) You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.
4) Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."
5) Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
6) You've ever given rattraps as gifts.
7) You clean your fingernails with a stick.
8) You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.
9) Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
10) You keep a can of Raid on your kitchen table.
11) You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
12) There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
13) You ever got too drunk to fish.
14) You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
15) Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."
16) The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
17) Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
18) You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
19) You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.
20) You've ever financed a tattoo.
21) The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.
22) You've ever bought a used hat.
23) You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.
24) You're considered an expert on worm beds.
25) You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
26) Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.
27) "Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit.
28) You learned to drive in a monster truck.
29) You spit chewing tobacco in houseplants.
30) Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.
31) You believe books are bad luck.
32) You believe professional wrestling should be an Olympic competition.
33) You believe "professional" wrestling!
34) You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.
35) You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur in the Lost World.

Sorry guys - I just couldnt resist after I saw the "transmission in the bathtub"

[Beav]

Hmmm....

I've been guilty of #13 a couple times, but I was a Floridian at the time.

#15 applied to my home in Colorado.

I feel sorry for the dog in #16 if there's a tv in the house - between 'reality' tv and Anna Nicole Smith he wouldn't stand a chance of keeping anything down.

My boss manufactures fireworks (for large displays), maybe I should re-prioritize my aspirations...

Whew! Almost guilty of #30 - the brunch was before the service instead of after though.

Maybe someday I'll be able to elevate my status here from visitor to resident... *was born a Buckeye*

[Aredubjay]

As Beav has no doubt attested, there is an innacuracy in the list. A born Kentuckian NEVER Get's too drunk to fish. If they pass out, you just throw them in the lake and they become bait.

Hmm.. and you thought "Boone" was just my nick. (never wears shoes unless absolutely necessary)

[Aredubjay]

Originally posted by Boone
Hmm.. and you thought "Boone" was just my nick. (never wears shoes unless absolutely necessary)

So, you're a descendant of our good friend "Dan'l" are ye? If you haven't, already, you'll need to come to our fair state and visit Fort Boonesboro. You, of all people, should be able to sort the tourism from the heritage.

Originally posted by Aredubjay

So, you're a descendant of our good friend "Dan'l" are ye? If you haven't, already, you'll need to come to our fair state and visit Fort Boonesboro. You, of all people, should be able to sort the tourism from the heritage.

Hehe.. Most try to claim relation and there's a pretty good chance. I haven't been back in a coon's age. My father's side was from the mountains near Boone. 'Possum in a Paw-Paw tree and all that. Berea College was has favorite charity. I've only traced my roots to 1840 or so. It's a rich heritage. Bare your feet proudly. Hi-Ho

[Aredubjay]

Originally posted by Boone

Hehe.. Most try to claim relation and there's a pretty good chance. I haven't been back in a coon's age. My father's side was from the mountains near Boone. 'Possum in a Paw-Paw tree and all that. Berea College was has favorite charity. I've only traced my roots to 1840 or so. It's a rich heritage. Bare your feet proudly. Hi-Ho

Ah, a coon's age, huh? Not very long around a Boone who needed a hat.

We have two friends whose children are matriculating at Berea. I'm sure they'd want to thank your dad.

If you ever do decide to make the trek, let me know. I don't visit that part of the state often enough. We could meet "over yonder" and "take off our shoes, 'n' set a spell." Don't mind the cow patties, steppin' in 'em won't kill ya (as my grandaddy used to say).