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#1
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Hey Mr. President ---
How To Tell If You Are From Kentucky
1) You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk. 2) The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 3) You were shooting pool when any of your children were born. 4) Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos." 5) Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath." 6) You've ever given rattraps as gifts. 7) You clean your fingernails with a stick. 8) You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately. 9) Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 10) You keep a can of Raid on your kitchen table. 11) You've totaled every car you've ever owned. 12) There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door. 13) You ever got too drunk to fish. 14) You consider the fifth grade your senior year. 15) Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road." 16) The dog can't watch you eat without gagging. 17) Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 18) You think the French Riviera is a foreign car. 19) You prefer car keys to Q-Tips. 20) You've ever financed a tattoo. 21) The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot. 22) You've ever bought a used hat. 23) You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog. 24) You're considered an expert on worm beds. 25) You think a subdivision is part of a math problem. 26) Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen. 27) "Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit. 28) You learned to drive in a monster truck. 29) You spit chewing tobacco in houseplants. 30) Your wedding reception included a beer brunch. 31) You believe books are bad luck. 32) You believe professional wrestling should be an Olympic competition. 33) You believe "professional" wrestling! 34) You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck. 35) You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur in the Lost World. Sorry guys - I just couldnt resist after I saw the "transmission in the bathtub"
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Matt Locker Link 2015 BRZ Limited 6MT 92 Ebony LS-L ECUtune Stage2av1, Z32 MAF, 370cc injectors, TomsSVX intake, BontragerWorks 22mm RSB #003, HID Hi and Lo beams, OT endlink and bushing mods, PWR Aluminum radiator, Harvey's QC shift kit, 2.5" flowmaster 80 exhaust, 17" Michelin Pilot Sport A/S, Poly sway bar bushings, Slotted Bradi rotors, AFBeefcake powdercoated calipers, 97 grill, and a huge set of air horns. 300,000 miles and counting 92 Ebony LS-L. ecutune stage1v4, motorsport 1pc pulley. Garage Queen - sold to Dad in upstate NY 155,000 miles 19 Subaru Ascent Premium - -Hers !. 89 DL 4x4 little red wagon - a.k.a. The immortal suby. 275k R.I.P. |
#2
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Hmmm....
I've been guilty of #13 a couple times, but I was a Floridian at the time. #15 applied to my home in Colorado. I feel sorry for the dog in #16 if there's a tv in the house - between 'reality' tv and Anna Nicole Smith he wouldn't stand a chance of keeping anything down. My boss manufactures fireworks (for large displays), maybe I should re-prioritize my aspirations... Whew! Almost guilty of #30 - the brunch was before the service instead of after though. Maybe someday I'll be able to elevate my status here from visitor to resident... *was born a Buckeye*
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ASE Certified Master Automotive Technician w/L1. ASE Certified Master Medium/Heavy Truck Technician. Certified EVT (Emergency Vehicle Technician) |
#3
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As Beav has no doubt attested, there is an innacuracy in the list. A born Kentuckian NEVER Get's too drunk to fish. If they pass out, you just throw them in the lake and they become bait.
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI |
#4
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Hmm.. and you thought "Boone" was just my nick. (never wears shoes unless absolutely necessary)
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#5
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So, you're a descendant of our good friend "Dan'l" are ye? If you haven't, already, you'll need to come to our fair state and visit Fort Boonesboro. You, of all people, should be able to sort the tourism from the heritage.
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI |
#6
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#7
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We have two friends whose children are matriculating at Berea. I'm sure they'd want to thank your dad. If you ever do decide to make the trek, let me know. I don't visit that part of the state often enough. We could meet "over yonder" and "take off our shoes, 'n' set a spell." Don't mind the cow patties, steppin' in 'em won't kill ya (as my grandaddy used to say).
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI Last edited by Aredubjay; 08-12-2002 at 03:03 PM. |
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