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  #16  
Old 04-19-2006, 12:47 PM
Bipa
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Here's another one that is similar. Again, it is a bit old, but this one has pretty much turned into a novel, with 10 parts. You may not find it very funny - but the premise itself is pretty humourous.

France Invades U.S. (Part 1)

After months of build up, the French government, led by Jacques Chirac, launched a pre-emptive attack on the United States of America. Declaring the US "a rogue nation in violation of international law and in defiance of UN resolution 1441," France launched a major ground offensive to overturn what they called "the illegitimate regime of George W. Bush." Citing the 2000 election as proof of an unlawful government, the French claimed they are invading the US to bring democracy to the American people. Termed Operation American Freedom, Jacques Chirac declared on French National TV: "the failure of the US to disarm and the threats against France by the unelected president has created the need to invade America in order to protect us against the inevitable aggression by the US along with Bush's stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction." The US, he declared, was part of an axis of evil along with the United Kingdom and Israel. After a relentless bombing campaign termed "le shock et l'awe," French and German coalition forces captured Washington DC and the surrounding areas. German troops controlled territory from North Carolina to Florida.

more
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  #17  
Old 04-19-2006, 12:57 PM
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sicksubie sicksubie is offline
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In the news tonight the British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon
though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit
Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz of
1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized
from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the
British issued
a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two
higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was
precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
immobilizing military operations.

It's not only the English and French that are on a higher level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly"
to
"elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
"ineffective
combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance"
to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two
higher
levels, "invade a neighbor" and "lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only
threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Now on to sports.......
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  #18  
Old 04-19-2006, 01:03 PM
Bipa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksubie
In the news tonight the British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon
though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit
Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz of
1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized
from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the
British issued
a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two
higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was
precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
immobilizing military operations.

It's not only the English and French that are on a higher level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly"
to
"elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
"ineffective
combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance"
to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two
higher
levels, "invade a neighbor" and "lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only
threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Now on to sports.......
ROTFLMAO! I love it! Thanks
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  #19  
Old 04-19-2006, 01:09 PM
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sicksubie sicksubie is offline
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My dad authored it actually while he was at work... Mutual fund managers get it easy I tell ya.
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  #20  
Old 04-19-2006, 01:35 PM
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Phast SVX Phast SVX is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksubie
My dad authored it actually while he was at work... Mutual fund managers get it easy I tell ya.
Is he looking for any interns!!!! (im a finance major with investment & secuirty analysis classwork, with one semester left )
phil
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  #21  
Old 04-19-2006, 03:02 PM
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sicksubie sicksubie is offline
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Ditto that major and a minor in economics, but unfortunately with three semesters to go
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  #22  
Old 04-19-2006, 03:03 PM
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sicksubie sicksubie is offline
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Seriously though if you are interested in moving to Mass. I can talk to him and see what's up. Where are you going to school?
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  #23  
Old 04-19-2006, 04:39 PM
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Electrophil Electrophil is offline
Which manual is "that" in??
 
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Ya better hire yourself a couple of mercenaries. We have speed bumps bigger than that Normandy reject you live on.

3 points though... He is incompetent.
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Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me.
Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup??

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  #24  
Old 04-19-2006, 04:43 PM
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Electrophil Electrophil is offline
Which manual is "that" in??
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksubie
In the news tonight the British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".

Now on to sports.......
That write up is hilarious!
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Robert

Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me.
Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup??

1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!)
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  #25  
Old 04-19-2006, 05:13 PM
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sicksubie sicksubie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrophil
Ya better hire yourself a couple of mercenaries. We have speed bumps bigger than that Normandy reject you live on.

3 points though... He is incompetent.
huh?
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  #26  
Old 04-19-2006, 06:27 PM
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Mike621 Mike621 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipa
Here's another one that is similar. Again, it is a bit old, but this one has pretty much turned into a novel, with 10 parts. You may not find it very funny - but the premise itself is pretty humourous.

France Invades U.S. (Part 1)

I found it quite amusing.
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  #27  
Old 04-19-2006, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipa

France Invades U.S.

That statement alone is hillarious.

Tom
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  #28  
Old 04-19-2006, 08:26 PM
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immortal_suby immortal_suby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomsSVX
That statement alone is hillarious.

Tom
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  #29  
Old 04-19-2006, 08:32 PM
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Electrophil Electrophil is offline
Which manual is "that" in??
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksubie
huh?
I was commenting on the original post from the beginning.

Andy lives on a rock out in the English channel.
__________________
Robert

Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me.
Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup??

1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!)

Last edited by Electrophil; 04-19-2006 at 08:34 PM.
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  #30  
Old 04-19-2006, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immortal_suby

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom
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