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#16
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Here's another one that is similar. Again, it is a bit old, but this one has pretty much turned into a novel, with 10 parts. You may not find it very funny - but the premise itself is pretty humourous.
France Invades U.S. (Part 1) After months of build up, the French government, led by Jacques Chirac, launched a pre-emptive attack on the United States of America. Declaring the US "a rogue nation in violation of international law and in defiance of UN resolution 1441," France launched a major ground offensive to overturn what they called "the illegitimate regime of George W. Bush." Citing the 2000 election as proof of an unlawful government, the French claimed they are invading the US to bring democracy to the American people. Termed Operation American Freedom, Jacques Chirac declared on French National TV: "the failure of the US to disarm and the threats against France by the unelected president has created the need to invade America in order to protect us against the inevitable aggression by the US along with Bush's stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction." The US, he declared, was part of an axis of evil along with the United Kingdom and Israel. After a relentless bombing campaign termed "le shock et l'awe," French and German coalition forces captured Washington DC and the surrounding areas. German troops controlled territory from North Carolina to Florida. more |
#17
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In the news tonight the British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz of 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively immobilizing military operations. It's not only the English and French that are on a higher level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two higher levels, "invade a neighbor" and "lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. Now on to sports.......
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Former: 1994 Barcelona Red(x2), 1995 Brilliant Red, 1992 Liquid Silver, 1992 Ebony(x2), 1992 Pearl White (x2) Current: 2017 Ford Raptor 2017 Kawasaki KLR 1995 Guards Red Carrera 1995 Spec-ish Miata - track car 1957 CJ-5 |
#18
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#19
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My dad authored it actually while he was at work... Mutual fund managers get it easy I tell ya.
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Former: 1994 Barcelona Red(x2), 1995 Brilliant Red, 1992 Liquid Silver, 1992 Ebony(x2), 1992 Pearl White (x2) Current: 2017 Ford Raptor 2017 Kawasaki KLR 1995 Guards Red Carrera 1995 Spec-ish Miata - track car 1957 CJ-5 |
#20
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Quote:
phil
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~Phil Teal 1992 Subaru SVX Turbo - Sold in May 2011 to peace-frog. |
#21
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Ditto that major and a minor in economics, but unfortunately with three semesters to go
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Former: 1994 Barcelona Red(x2), 1995 Brilliant Red, 1992 Liquid Silver, 1992 Ebony(x2), 1992 Pearl White (x2) Current: 2017 Ford Raptor 2017 Kawasaki KLR 1995 Guards Red Carrera 1995 Spec-ish Miata - track car 1957 CJ-5 |
#22
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Seriously though if you are interested in moving to Mass. I can talk to him and see what's up. Where are you going to school?
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Former: 1994 Barcelona Red(x2), 1995 Brilliant Red, 1992 Liquid Silver, 1992 Ebony(x2), 1992 Pearl White (x2) Current: 2017 Ford Raptor 2017 Kawasaki KLR 1995 Guards Red Carrera 1995 Spec-ish Miata - track car 1957 CJ-5 |
#23
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Ya better hire yourself a couple of mercenaries. We have speed bumps bigger than that Normandy reject you live on.
3 points though... He is incompetent.
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Robert Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me. Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup?? 1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!) |
#24
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Robert Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me. Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup?? 1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!) |
#25
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Quote:
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Former: 1994 Barcelona Red(x2), 1995 Brilliant Red, 1992 Liquid Silver, 1992 Ebony(x2), 1992 Pearl White (x2) Current: 2017 Ford Raptor 2017 Kawasaki KLR 1995 Guards Red Carrera 1995 Spec-ish Miata - track car 1957 CJ-5 |
#26
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I found it quite amusing.
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1991 SVX L JDM |
#27
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That statement alone is hillarious. Tom |
#28
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Matt Locker Link 2015 BRZ Limited 6MT 92 Ebony LS-L ECUtune Stage2av1, Z32 MAF, 370cc injectors, TomsSVX intake, BontragerWorks 22mm RSB #003, HID Hi and Lo beams, OT endlink and bushing mods, PWR Aluminum radiator, Harvey's QC shift kit, 2.5" flowmaster 80 exhaust, 17" Michelin Pilot Sport A/S, Poly sway bar bushings, Slotted Bradi rotors, AFBeefcake powdercoated calipers, 97 grill, and a huge set of air horns. 300,000 miles and counting 92 Ebony LS-L. ecutune stage1v4, motorsport 1pc pulley. Garage Queen - sold to Dad in upstate NY 155,000 miles 19 Subaru Ascent Premium - -Hers !. 89 DL 4x4 little red wagon - a.k.a. The immortal suby. 275k R.I.P. |
#29
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Quote:
Andy lives on a rock out in the English channel.
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Robert Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me. Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup?? 1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!) Last edited by Electrophil; 04-19-2006 at 08:34 PM. |
#30
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Quote:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tom |
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