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#16
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Re: VERY O/T Christmas Fun Page
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Actually, I also wish Andy and Joe (and everybody else in the rest of the World) a very happy Boxing Day Yes, I can remember when I used to get Boxing Day off work Those were the days. I'd go to watch "The Wires" (now called "The Wolves") in the traditional Boxing Day game with .... with ........ with. I can't remember - too much water under the bridge Oh, well. HAPPY CHRISTMAS anyway.
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Colin 96 SVX LSi 85K (Sold) 04 Legacy Sedan 121K 06 Chevy Malibu 71K 13 Outback 0K |
#17
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Senility
THE SENILITY PRAYER - Just for us old f**ts
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm 'older (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered: ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. THREE - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... FIVE - All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. SIX - If all is not lost, where is it? SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. EIGHT- Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. NINE - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few... TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents. ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids. TWELVE - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. THIRTEEN - Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them at my knees. FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after. NINETEEN - UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE POSTED THIS OR NOT AND DOUBT IF SOME OF YOU CAN EITHER.
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Colin 96 SVX LSi 85K (Sold) 04 Legacy Sedan 121K 06 Chevy Malibu 71K 13 Outback 0K |
#18
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Chet....hehehe....and Colin knows me too well....
One for Andy....
What is brown.....steams.....and comes out of cowes backwards? ........ ....the Isle of Wight ferry. Don
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Cats: Clio, Inky, Sheba, Sparky, Rocky, Cali, Scooter 3 cars: 02 SVT Focus, 2012 Versa...2015 Fiat 500 currently SVX-less 1 wife ("She, who must be obeyed..") "One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries" |
#19
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I'll probably catch heck for this one...
The Christmas Card
Little Melissa comes home from first grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas. "Since Christmas is a Christian holiday & we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Christmas card to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Christmas card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, & maybe start loving people a little bit. If other kids saw what I did & sent Christmas cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them & how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells as looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the **** out of him.
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ASE Certified Master Automotive Technician w/L1. ASE Certified Master Medium/Heavy Truck Technician. Certified EVT (Emergency Vehicle Technician) |
#20
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Re: I'll probably catch heck for this one...
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No argument here, Beav. Best holiday wishes to you & the Hooter's crew. Ron.
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Good s**t happened. 69 was worth the wait. '92 stock semi-pristine ebony - 160K '96 Grand Caravan - 240K '01 Miata SE - 79K '07 Chrysler Pacifica - 60k - future money pit. |
#21
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#22
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That was a Thriller!
Oops....I need bigger baskets and a faster mouse!
I do have a serious question though.... ...why does he keep all of his children's heads/faces covered? Don
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Cats: Clio, Inky, Sheba, Sparky, Rocky, Cali, Scooter 3 cars: 02 SVT Focus, 2012 Versa...2015 Fiat 500 currently SVX-less 1 wife ("She, who must be obeyed..") "One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries" |
#23
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I can't believe I'm just now finding this.
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI |
#24
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and I thought that you were just ignoring me
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Andy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances. -- Albert Einstein, The Reporter, November 18 1954 |
#25
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just a joke, thought it was funny
What's the difference between a motorcycle and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirt bag.
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“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.” Susan B. Anthony "The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown The inventor of the doorbell did not own a dog. |
#26
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI |
#27
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Re: just a joke, thought it was funny
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Kinda like the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche. On a porcupine, the prick's on the OUTSIDE! (No offense to our Porsche owners, here. )
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Randy Johnson 3rd Registered Member 02-21-2001 First Member to Reach 10,000 Posts First to arrive at the very first Reading Meet Subaru Ambassador 1992 SVX PPG Pace Car Replica 110+k 1993 White Impreza L 240+K miles 2001 Legacy Outback Limited Sedan 250+K miles 2013 Deep Indigo Pearl Legacy 3.6R 49+K miles "Reading is my favorite Holiday" Mike Davis -- at Reading VI |
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