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Wanted: Raise
The Penis Wants A Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise for the following reasons: 1: I do physical labor. 2: I work at great depths. 3: I plunge head first into everything I do. 4: I do not get weekends or public holidays off. 5: I work in a damp environment. 6: I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation. 7: I work in high temperatures. 8: My work exposes me to diseases. Reply: Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raise, the management team denies your request for the following reasons: 1 - You do not work 8 hours straight. 2 - You work in SHORT SPURTS and fall asleep after EACH brief work period. 3 - You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 4 - You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations. 5 - You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. 6 - You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift. 7 - You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. 8 - You will retire LONG before you are 65. 9 - You are unable to work double shifts. 10 - You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. 11 - And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The management.
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*No SVX at the moment...* 1987 Winnebago Elandan 35' 2001 Yamaha Roadstar 1600 2004 Ford Excursion Eddie Bauer, 6.0litre Power Stroke Diesel - Daily Driver. Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, scotch in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming HOOOOYA !!!!! |
#2
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yikes! 123
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Kenneth 1997 Subaru SVX LSi "Svetlana" #185 of 640 - 09/1996 - Polo Green Pearl - 34k miles 1992 Subaru SVX LS-L "Everett" #8738 - 01/1992 - Ebony Pearl - 139k miles - 5MT shifty - Sold 07/31/2011 1992 Subaru SVX LS-L "Sven" #1599 - 05/1991 - Claret - 168k miles - Traded 05/11/2005 2023 Subaru Crosstrek Limited CVT - Crystal White Pearl - 2.8k miles 2021 Subaru Forester 2.5i Limited CVT - Horizon Blue Pearl - 17k miles 2023 Volkswagen Jetta S 6MT - Pure White - 2.6k miles 2020 Hyundai Ioniq Limited EV - Ceramic White - 30k miles |
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