Real 911 calls

[Mrs.Budfreak]

REAL 9 1 1 CALLS

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is..........


Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

[Alycone]

Amusing.


Here's my addition:
"How many times were you shot?"
"You mean today?"

[DarknessofDeath]

i have heard on the radio of a recorded call of an elderly woman calling 911 because she needed help to change the batteries on her remote for the television. and you hear the walk through to do it from the dispatcher

was on 102.1 , the edge. but was a good few years back as well.

[Mr. Pockets]

I heard a recording of a 911 call recently. The woman was in the fdrive through at Burger King and was angry that they made her burger wrong. No lie, she wanted the police to come down there and dispense some justice.

[Alycone]

There was a drunk guy who requested an ambulance for chapped lips. They were pretty badly chapped.

[Royal Tiger]

Nice. Thanks for showing the intelligence of the idiots we deal with everyday. I'm still laughing.