Just got the funniest email ever!!!

[Noir]

Originally Posted by Manarius

So...umm...why are we in Iraq again?
[/B]

cause ronald wanted us to. nuff said.

[AppStateSVX]

Originally Posted by Manarius

But he did win. He won the popular election. And, for that matter, he won the popular election in Florida. Had his votes been counted correctly in the first place, he would have won the electoral votes for Florida and he would have won the election. However, the popular votes that had been counted at the time said Bush, so the electoral votes went to Bush, so he won the election. It's that simple. So, he did win, just not the electoral college.

Oh, and, as I recall, none of the 9/11 Terrorists were Iraqi...and the Bush administration admitted that Iraq had no Weapons of Mass Destruction. So...umm...why are we in Iraq again?

Thank you. Pwnt.

sorry, but that's just wrong information. The votes were recounted, multiple times. My professor hates Bush more than anyone else I have met, but even he admits that Bush won fairly, as in Bush won by the Constitutional Method.

As far as Iraq, have you tried looking at the stories that CNN DOESNT tell? I have quite a few friends who spent time in Iraq, and they sure give a totally different account of the sensationalist media. The truth is, the IRAQI people vastly like the Americans, the people we are fighting right now are mostly Syrians, Saudis, and people from the surrounding Islamic nations. According to my friend, out of the raids performed, 4 out of 5 were outsiders. Like I said before, I am not a huge Bush supporter, but I would rather face the truth than stupid lies from both the Republicans AND Democrats.

[NikFu S.]

Originally Posted by Noir

That is solid gold.

That and the crying baby.

Originally Posted by MidnightBlack92

As far as Iraq, have you tried looking at the stories that CNN DOESNT tell? I have quite a few friends who spent time in Iraq, and they sure give a totally different account of the sensationalist media. The truth is, the IRAQI people vastly like the Americans, the people we are fighting right now are mostly Syrians, Saudis, and people from the surrounding Islamic nations. According to my friend, out of the raids performed, 4 out of 5 were outsiders. Like I said before, I am not a huge Bush supporter, but I would rather face the truth than stupid lies from both the Republicans AND Democrats.


Oh, yeah... truthful reporting? Here's something to think about:

Report: U.S. buys positive press in Iraq
Pentagon spokesman vows to look into allegations
Thursday, December 1, 2005 Posted: 0205 GMT (1005 HKT)

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The U.S. military offered a mixed message Wednesday about whether it embraced one of its own programs that reportedly paid a consulting firm and Iraqi newspapers to plant favorable stories about the war and the rebuilding effort.

Lt. Col. Barry Johnson, a military spokesman in Iraq, said the program is "an important part of countering misinformation in the news by insurgents."

"This is a military program initiated with the multinational force to help get factual information about ongoing operations into Iraqi news," Johnson said in an e-mail. "I want to emphasize that all information used for marketing these stories is completely factual."

A spokesman for Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, however, called a report detailing the program troubling if true and said he was looking into the matter. (Watch the allegations of buying positive news in Baghdad papers -- 2:03)

Details about the program were first reported by the Los Angeles Times on Wednesday. It marked the second time this year that Pentagon programs have come under scrutiny for reported payments made to journalists for favorable press.

Two other federal agencies have been investigated in the past year for similar activities, leading Congress' Government Accountability Office to condemn one, the Education Department, for engaging in illegal covert propaganda.

The Los Angeles Times quoted unidentified officials as saying that some of the stories in Iraqi newspapers were written by U.S. troops and while basically factual, they sometimes give readers a slanted view of what is happening in Iraq.

Some of those officials expressed fear that use of such stories could hurt the U.S. military's credibility, the newspaper said.

Defense Department officials did not deny the story's allegations, and Rumsfeld spokesman Bryan Whitman said he was looking into the program.

Whitman said the department has clear principles for dealing with news organizations, "so this article raises some question as to whether or not some of the practices that are described in there are consistent with the principles of this department."

He would not specify the questions he felt the article raised.

Sen. Richard Lugar, an Indiana Republican who chairs the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, questioned the program Wednesday.

"I wouldn't fault somebody trying to get the American message out," Lugar said. "[It] may be about the only way that any sort of a message will ever get to anybody. But that's a very forlorn conclusion early on, and really sort of violates what we're attempting to do to begin with in our emphasis on democracy."

The Pentagon hired the Lincoln Group, a Washington-based firm that translates the stories into Arabic and places them in Baghdad newspapers, the newspaper reported.

The organization's staff or subcontractors in Iraq occasionally pose as freelance reporters or advertising executives when they hand stories to Iraqi media outlets, it said.

Laurie Adler, a spokeswoman for the Lincoln Group, said Wednesday she could not comment on the contract because it is with the U.S. government.

The company, which does work in Iraq, is a public affairs firm that does advertising and other communications in "challenging locations," she said.

John Schulz, a former executive with Voice of America who is now dean of the Boston University College of Communication, called the military program scary.

"The Bush administration, and some elements within the Defense Department, do not seem to grasp the irony that, in their efforts to create, impose or inspire democratic society in Iraq, they are subverting the very core of what democracy means and are instead, by example, undercutting the very thing they are attempting to instill in Iraq," Schulz said.

In the last year, the Bush administration has been called to task for paying journalists to promote its programs. GAO slammed the Education Department for illegal propaganda when the agency paid columnist Armstrong Williams to publicize the "No Child Left Behind" education law.

And the GAO is looking into the Heath and Human Services Department's contract with syndicated columnist Maggie Gallagher to help promote a marriage initiative.

Earlier this year, the Pentagon's inspector general's office said it was investigating a program that paid journalists to write articles and commentary for a Web site called Southeast European Times that was aimed at influencing opinion in the Balkans.

Military officials who spoke to the Los Angeles Times on the condition of anonymity said the "Information Operations Task Force," part of a multinational corps with headquarters in Baghdad, bought an Iraqi newspaper and took over a radio station to put out pro-American messages.

Neither outlet was named out of fear that they would be targeted by insurgents, the newspaper said.

The stories in Iraqi newspapers often praise the efforts of U.S. and Iraqi troops, denounce terrorism and promote the country's reconstruction efforts.

The Times said documents it obtained showed that the Baghdad-based newspaper Al Mutamar was paid about $50 to run one of the stories, which had the headline "Iraqis Insist on Living Despite Terrorism" on August 6.

[-JJ-]

come on people more jokes i was just startin to have fun

Originally Posted by -JJ-

come on people more jokes i was just startin to have fun

ok...back to funnies



.

[Royal Tiger]

Still crying over Al Gore? Have we nothing else to do? Has any Democrat since FDR had a viable national defense policy? Negative "Bush Backlash" will get some dope like Hillary or Chuck Schumer in office. I'm a Republican, but I actually take the time to research who I'm voting for. I know in the era of force fed mass media, you could say anything and people whould belive it, but I met Kerry in person, and I wouldn't vote for him.

Here's something from my archives. In the interest of fairness and balance:

[demonsvx]

I didnt vote for either idiot as neither impresses me with their "policies or agendas". The war in Iraq is unjustified, what the hell happened to finding Osama and the people who really attacked America? If we had put 150,000 troops in Afganistan we probaly would have found him! But no we had to go to Iraq for WMD, didnt find any, then we were "liberating" Iraq, if the Iraqis wanted it bad enough they should have done it THEMSELVES! JUST LIKE WE DID BACK IN 1776!!!! This war is for ecomomic gain and military domination. Bush has failed at home: New Orleans, US/Mexico border, health care, education, etc. In the world he has failed on diplomatic issues too numerous to mention. If we get a president worth a SH#@ in my lifetime I would be impressed but I dont see it happening.

[Royal Tiger]

That's why I'm intrigued with Chuck Hagel, a republican from Nebraska. He seems to cross the fence better then most we have had lately. I'm going to keep an eye on him as we approach 2008. McCain seems to be turning to liberal for my taste.

Originally Posted by Tigershark

That's why I'm intrigued with Chuck Hagel, a republican from Nebraska. He seems to cross the fence better then most we have had lately. I'm going to keep an eye on him as we approach 2008. McCain seems to be turning to liberal for my taste.

Wow...that was a nice set-up. Hagel was Chairman of the company that built, programmed, and supplied the voting machines that later counted his own votes (AIS, later ES&S). The same company also trained all the technicians. Sweet!

His people have already registered the domain names "hagel2008.com" and "ChuckHagel2008.com". Previously they had registered but now released the name "Bush-Hagel2004.com".

I think he still owns lots of shares in the mother company. Watch to see who gets the contracts to supply more voting machines in the next election.

For an interesting read about electronic voting and problems with the technology, get "Black Box Voting: Ballot Tampering in the 21st Century" by Bev Harris. ($13.57 at amazon.com) or read it online at http://www.blackboxvoting.org/

There's also quite a bit about Hagel in the book, obviously unofficial bio info since his official web site puts a different spin on it. Both contain the same basic facts, just a "leeetle" different interpretation of those facts

Back to funnies!

BUSH TO BRING DEMOCRACY TO IRAQ BY ELIMINATING IT IN EUROPE
"Axis of Unworthy Democratic Nations" Threatens War Effort
By Michael Adler
Gainesville Daily Statement Correspondent
Homeland HQ (formerly Washington, D.C. - (GDS)

- President Bush announced a radical shift in foreign policy last night as tough opposition to his war against Iraq continued throughout the world.
"We will pursue a policy of regime change in democratic countries where necessary. Especially France." the president said.
"We must not allow French democracy to get in the way of bringing democracy to Iraq," the president said.
Citing evidence of French weapons of mass destruction, Bush said, "The only solution to the situation with France is for Jaques Chirac to go into exile so that we can replace him with a leader who will support our effort to liberate Iraq."
Bush defended this new policy by recalling the tremendous cooperation of undemocratic governments in foreign affairs.
Joined by the presidents of Pakistan, Egypt and Afghanistan, Bush noted "Pakistan, Egypt, and Afghanistan are with us 100%."
Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf declared "I agree", Egyptian President Hosni Mubarrak said "Ditto", then Afghan Interim President Hamid Karzai said "How high?-- I mean whatever he said. Ditto? Sorry, I’m new at this. Please don’t launch cruise missiles at my house."
French reaction to Bush's declaration was immediate. French President Chirac thrust his hand outward from underneath his chin and walked off in a huff.
Homeland Security analysts have interpreted this gesture as a signal to French terrorists in the United States to strike.
Germany and Russia are also on Bush's list. Some US forces have been rerouted from Kuwait to Northern Spain and the State Department reportedly requested that Bulgaria allow a US troop build-up in case an invasion against the "Axis of Unworthy Democratic Nations" occurs.
"Germany can avert war if they join us in the war against France," Bush warned. "Unless Germany allows us to remove democracy from France so that we can bring democracy to Iraq, the German government will have to be replaced."
Bush gave Germany 48 hours to make up its mind.
Some French people have already surrendered to US forces in Northern Spain. They are being sent to Guantanamo Bay for questioning about their knowledge of Chirac and his relationship to Bin Laden.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair tried to rally support in the House of Commons today, saying "We must deal with the French threat" and promising to produce forged documents written by high school students proving claims that France has targeted Britain and the US with nuclear missiles.
Opposition to the war on Iraq in Britain has reached 80%, according to a recent Zogby poll. Blair was reportedly worried about his political future and has ordered new electronic voting machines from the US. Such computerized voting machines have been credited with the Republican take-over of the Senate, in particular, the win of underdog Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, who owns the company that made and programmed the voting machines that recorded the votes of his landslide win.
"Eliminating democracy in Florida was the first step to bringing democracy to Iraq," Hagel said. "My victory was part of the second step. Now, with the president's leadership against Iraq and against the Axis of Unworthy Democratic Nations, a democratic Iraq could become the 51st state."

http://www.garygordonproductions.com...democracy.html

[It's Just Eric]

Okay, I got one too.

President Bush is doing horrible as a polotician. His aproval rating dropped to like 40% and he isnt doing too good his first quarter. Dick cheny says to him. "Mister President, if you raise your aproval ratings by 20% by the next quarter, ill give you 25 bucks"
So President Bush works really hard..improves homeland security and passes a few bills to help out the poor people. Sure enough, his aproval ratings went up 20% by the end of the first quarter.
So Dick Cheny, as promised, gives the President his 25 dollars.
"Mister Cheny., Instead of getting 25 dollars, can I just have 25 Dollars worth of green golf balls?"
"Well..Okay, here you go George. Now run up to the oval office and play with them"
So the President runs upstairs....and you hear this loud bang.
Turns out the President is okay, he has some little burns, but they blister and heal pretty quick. no biggie.
Dick cheny says to President Bush "George, your doing better, but Id still like to see higher aproval ratings. Ill tell ya what....If you get another 20% aproval in the next quater, ill give you 50 bucks"
"Really? Oh gosh thats awesome!" The President says.
So he works really hard...Passes bills to improve border partolls and immigration status. Even helps education out a little by giving some more funds to the education department.
So at the end of the next quarter, sure enough, his aproval ratings are up another 20%, and as promised, Dick Cheny gives the Prasident his fifty dollars.
"Mister Cheny., Instead of getting 50 dollars, van I just have 50 Dollars worth of green golf balls?"
"Well..Okay, here you go George. Now run up to the oval office and play with them"
So the President runs upstairs....and theres a LOUD explosion...the oval office has a big chared spot on the floor, and the President has some second degree burns, but with a little time and bandages they heal pretty easy.
Now Vice president Gheny goes to the President and says "President bush, your approval ratings are through the roof! But I bet we can do even better! Ill tell ya what, if you get another 20% aproval ratings..Ill give you 100 Dollars!"
So the president takes Dick Cheney's offer, and gets to work.
He improves damn near everything from wages, property taxes, and inflation to little things like land conservation and the quality of neighborhoods.
So the big day comes..the end of the last quarter..and somehow, SOME way, the president got the additional 20% aproval rating. So Dick pays up as promised.
"Mister Cheny., Instead of getting 100 dollars, can I just have 100 Dollars worth of green golf balls?"
"Well..Okay, here you go George. Now run up to the oval office and play with them"
So the President runs upstairs....and theres a Humongous explosion..the oval office is all charred and half ablaze, the whole white house is shaken, and the president is in the emergency room.
Dick Cheny visits the President as he lay in the bed...

"Oh, Mister President, I knew I shouldnt have given you them golf balls...I should have just let it be, but I had to push the ratings. I hope you come through this one okay George, I really do! Say...what were you doing with them green golf balls anyway?
And the president responded:
It's simple, I was























And the president died.


Haha, made ya look! Funny huh?

[AppStateSVX]

haha, i had a feeling it was going to end like that, I've heard the same type joke before, but yes, I still looked........

[-JJ-]

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