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  #1  
Old 08-16-2004, 03:31 PM
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Andy Andy is offline
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Real Engineers

Real Engineers...


Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.

Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.

Real Engineers wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.

Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.

Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.

Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.

Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.

Real Engineers say "It's 77 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin," and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day."

Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.

Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car."

Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.

Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.

Real Engineers rotate their tyres for laughs.

Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.

Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.

Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
Real Engineers...
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If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I
would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather
choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree
of independence still available under present circumstances.
-- Albert Einstein, The Reporter, November 18 1954
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  #2  
Old 08-16-2004, 04:10 PM
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Re: Real Engineers

Quote:
Originally posted by Andy
Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.


Uh...I guess I'd better go tell the lead artist on my project that I'm not an artist, but a Real Engineer.

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  #3  
Old 08-18-2004, 11:48 AM
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Real Techs

Being an Electronics Tech and not and engineer, I had to make the Engineering set-up work for me.

Quote:
Originally posted by Andy
Real Techs...


Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
Real Techs help Engineers match their socks.

Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
Real Techs remind Engineers about their spouses birthday.

Real Engineers wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
Real Techs repair the Engineers razor.

Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
Real Techs translate the Engineers non-technical vocabulary to something resembling English.

Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
Real Techs train the fox terrier.(To bite Engineers)

Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
Real Techs have to make the Engineer fit in their shirt no matter what size they buy.

Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
Real Techs make the cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions work after the Engineer fixes them.

Real Engineers say "It's 77 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin," and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day."
Real Techs make the thermostat read 77 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 Kelvin even though the glass of water by it has frozen, because the Engineer side to.

Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
Real Techs fix the phones so that having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal makes sense.

Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car."
Real Techs printed the badges worn by Engineers saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car."

Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
Real Techs park in the space with the Engineers name on it and build the tower blocking their office window.

Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
Real Techs know that there are 3 letters in "ABC" and have to figure out were the C that was left out goes.

Real Engineers rotate their tyres for laughs.
Real Techs let the air out of the Engineers tires for laughs.(watch them try to re-engineer it, instead of fix it.)

Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
Real Techs have to make the bird baths out of chicken wire and then make it hold water according to the Engineering drawings.


Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
Real Techs have vans full of tools, a PlayBoy under the seat, and eat at fast food restaurants.

Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
Real techs don’t find Engineers all that funny.
Real Techs...
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  #4  
Old 08-18-2004, 12:51 PM
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I get it.........................



Real Techs are like secretaries, but with hairy legs.
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Andy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I
would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather
choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree
of independence still available under present circumstances.
-- Albert Einstein, The Reporter, November 18 1954
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  #5  
Old 08-18-2004, 01:05 PM
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Re: Real Engineers

Quote:
Originally posted by Andy
Real Engineers...
Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath. Real Engineers...

My dad was an engineer and he did exactly that, anything to make a 2 hour project take 6 months and they wondered why nothing ever got done!!!
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  #6  
Old 08-18-2004, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Andy
I get it.........................



Real Techs are like secretaries, but with hairy legs.

A Tech is someone who think's they are an engineer or a lawyer or anything else you need years of education for, but they never got past highschool...
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  #7  
Old 08-19-2004, 05:03 AM
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Andy,

My wife thought that "Real Engineers" was quite hilarious.
Afterall, she married one.
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  #8  
Old 08-19-2004, 06:52 AM
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Hmmm, I figured Larry would try to defend us... After all I am going to school to become an engineer... .... I still found that stuff funny though
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  #9  
Old 08-19-2004, 09:55 AM
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I give engineers credit for the idea's, But it's the techs that have to make it work and keep it going. I've been on a few jobs where the engineer drawings ended up being more of a suggestion. Some Idea's look good on paper, but need alot of adjustments to work in the intended fashion.

This holds espically true if more than one contractor is used to do a job or if it is an upgade to something that has been in place for a while. Then again it could just be the way of the government.

You get in there and find out the stuff isnt the way the engineers thought it was. Some on used solid concrete instead of block, 2x8's instead of 2x10's ect.

And then if you have 2 systems that have to be integrated that were each designed and built by 2 different companys to do a specific part of a total job. Then they dont work together. They both do there job independently, they just wont work together. Then you got 2 groups that claim there stuff is working according to spec and it must be the other system. The techs get all the fun of figuring how to get the systems to play nice with each other.


If you want examples I could share.

Last edited by mikecg; 08-19-2004 at 10:04 AM.
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  #10  
Old 08-19-2004, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GreenMarineSVX
Hmmm, I figured Larry would try to defend us... After all I am going to school to become an engineer... .... I still found that stuff funny though
REAL engr's. dont find it funny !!!
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Engineers do it with precision.
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  #11  
Old 08-19-2004, 11:19 AM
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How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hold on, the planning commision will get back to you after the latest estimates come in.
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