The Subaru SVX World Network   SVX Network Forums
Live Chat!
SVX or Subaru Links
Old Lockers
Photo Post
How-To Documents
Message Archive
SVX Shop Search
IRC users:

Go Back   The Subaru SVX World Network > SVX Main Forums > Not Exactly SVX

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-27-2005, 10:44 PM
NapaBavarian's Avatar
NapaBavarian NapaBavarian is offline
Good morning!
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Napa California
Posts: 4,445
Send a message via AIM to NapaBavarian Send a message via Yahoo to NapaBavarian
teh funneh

Only at Wal-Mart........

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars..a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.


Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
__________________
.Karl.
Southwest members, click here to check in!CA,NV,AZ,UT,NM,OR,CO
Wanted...your busted SVX! Watch out Earl, I'm comin to getchya
Return of the Pissed Platypus! X2
My dream (other than a pearlie)
1.8 SVXi and a laguna blue spoiler...somewhere
I decided to quit drinking, but I didn't like it so I quit not drinking.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-27-2005, 10:47 PM
Chiketkd's Avatar
Chiketkd Chiketkd is offline
Row faster...I hear banjos!!!!
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Charlottesville, VA
Posts: 10,334
Ha ha ha!

ROFL!!!

-Chike
__________________
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

2013 Cosmic Blue 5spd Evo X GSR
2006 Galaxy Gray 6MT RX-8 (sold)
2006 Steel Gray WRX TR (sold)
1996 Brilliant Red SVX L (sold)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-27-2005, 11:10 PM
Sidewinder's Avatar
Sidewinder Sidewinder is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 432
Send a message via AIM to Sidewinder Send a message via MSN to Sidewinder
That is a class act! That makes my day!
__________________
Eric
1994 Bordeaux Pearl SVX LSi

"The SVX — Where, they wondered, do you put the kayak?"
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-28-2005, 07:29 AM
Electrophil's Avatar
Electrophil Electrophil is offline
Which manual is "that" in??
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 3,962
Chuckle, chuckle, Snort!!
__________________
Robert

Is Bush in jail yet? (Looks frantically at watch, then back up) How about now? Now? Come onnnnnn...... Someone freeze me until January, this wait is killing me.
Update: 09 January, and still not in jail! Wassup??

1992 Teal LS-L - 160k (Now new and improved with perfect paint!)
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-28-2005, 10:21 AM
ensteele's Avatar
ensteele ensteele is offline
Betcha can't buy just one!
Alcyone Gold Contributor
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Burlington, WA
Posts: 19,552
Send a message via ICQ to ensteele Send a message via Yahoo to ensteele Send a message via Skype™ to ensteele
Registered SVX Classic SVX
That's great!
__________________
.
Earl .... ... .... ><SVX(*>

Subaru Ambassador

[COLOR=”silver”]1992 Tri Color L[/COLOR] ~45K (06/91) #2430
1992 Dark Teal LS-L ~184K (05/91) #0739
1992 Claret LS-L ~196K (05/91) #0831
1992 Pearl LS-L ~103K (06/91) #1680
1992 Pearl LS-L ~151K (06/91) #2229
1992 Dark Teal LS ~150K (07/91) #3098 (parts car)
1992 White LS-L ~139K (08/92) #6913
1993 25th AE ~98K (02/93) #164
1993 25th AE ~58K (02/93) #176
1993 25th AE ~107K (02/93) #215
1993 25th AE ~162K (02/93) #223
1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~124K (1/94) #2408
1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~144K (10/93) #1484
1994 Laguna Blue Pearl LSi ~68K (10/93) #1525
1994 Barcelona Red LSi ~46K (02/94) #2624
1994 Pearl LSi ~41K (12/93) #1961
1995 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~70K (02/95) #855
1996 Polo Green LSi ~95K (03/96) #872
1997 Bordeaux Pearl LSi ~55K (08/96) #097
2003 Brilliant Red LS1 Convertible ~29K (04/03) #8951
1999 Magnetic Red LS1 Coupe ~33K (04/99) #6420

My Email | Old Locker | New Locker | Picture of 15 of the 19
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2001-2015 SVX World Network
(208)-906-1122