Soon to be divorced

demonsvx · #1 10-29-2007, 05:49 PM

Well my wife of 9 years gave me the news that it is over. We have 2 boys 11 and 7 and havent told them yet(breaks my heart) She told me she has to have her space and cannot think it can be worked out. On top of this she does this after refinancing "our" house so we could have some money for our kids college, bills, and some things we wanted. I didnt expect here to take $4500 to go "get an apartment and furniture"

I also gave her the SVX last year after she wrecked her car(worked 2 weeks on getting the new trans and rear in) She is shortsighted in HER feelings as she hasnt thought about the kids and a whole new living style. I always done everything I could for her except one thing and that wasnt talk enough to here about my feelings

I am not worried about my feelings right now just my kids

Just sucks major donkey a$$

Manarius · #2 10-29-2007, 06:04 PM

At least you and your wife were somewhat quiet about your decision. My dad spent 6 months+ yelling at my mom for stupid things. After that my mom finally had to file and make it official. Divorces are terrible things.

sicksubie · #3 10-29-2007, 06:06 PM

That stinks..... Unfortunately with today courts women always get whatever they want.

demonsvx · #4 10-29-2007, 06:13 PM

Well she agreed to letting me have the house(higher payment of course due to aforementioned refinance) joint custody, and no child support. We will see after her appointment with her laywer. Cant seem to find the title for the SVX tho

demonsvx · #5 10-29-2007, 06:15 PM

Also she works 7 days a week and half of that is cash. I make 39k a year and Im sure they will order child support which in turn I will lose my house that I ve worked so hard for

I want to support my kids but feel she needs to do her part also.

subeman90 · #6 10-29-2007, 06:46 PM

report her to the IRS if she takes you for support. If you lose the house she will be held responsable for her half too don't forget that. Remind her of that before the appointment with Domestic relations. If you can prove she is cheating you can really f her. A little PI work goes a long way.

I got divorced a few months ago....life is good...but just be smart about it cause I missed a few details and I got fudged a little and almost lost my Baja over it.

Close the CC accts now!

"once bitten, twice shy"

NapaBavarian · #7 10-29-2007, 07:00 PM

Sorry to hear this demon

Noir · #8 10-29-2007, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonsvx

Also she works 7 days a week and half of that is cash. I make 39k a year and Im sure they will order child support which in turn I will lose my house that I ve worked so hard for

I want to support my kids but feel she needs to do her part also.

sorry to hear that man. if you see that she's unfit to take care of the kids, get custody. i'm sure she'll try to milk you for every penny after she's spoken with the lawyer. that's normally what happens i hear.

ensteele · #9 10-30-2007, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noir

sorry to hear that man. if you see that she's unfit to take care of the kids, get custody. i'm sure she'll try to milk you for every penny after she's spoken with the lawyer. that's normally what happens i hear.

Yes, that is what happens.

In WA State, there is no fault divorce and even if she is running around, she still gets everything.

SilverSpear · #10 10-30-2007, 01:41 AM

Sorry to hear that Demon... I do not envy the situation you are in... just hang in there man.

Well just a quick overview about the case in my country...
Divorce happens only in one case: Treason.
If the husband catches his wife in bed with another, BY LAW he can do two things and get away with it:
1- To divorce her and she gets NOTHING
2- To KILL her and her lover at the scene...

As for the feelings... well we are a very affectionate people. We rarely have feelings issues. But if we do, we just do not divorce for two reasons:
1- The kids
2- The "shame" of the word divorce as if it is related to treason...

svxfiles · #11 10-30-2007, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonsvx

Well my wife of 9 years gave me the news that it is over. We have 2 boys 11 and 7 and havent told them yet(breaks my heart) She told me she has to have her space and cannot think it can be worked out. On top of this she does this after refinancing "our" house so we could have some money for our kids college, bills, and some things we wanted. I didnt expect here to take $4500 to go "get an apartment and furniture"

I also gave her the SVX last year after she wrecked her car(worked 2 weeks on getting the new trans and rear in) She is shortsighted in HER feelings as she hasnt thought about the kids and a whole new living style. I always done everything I could for her except one thing and that wasnt talk enough to here about my feelings

I am not worried about my feelings right now just my kids

Just sucks major donkey a$$

I have been in your shoes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In two years, psychiatrists tell us, we get over things. They say the depression goes away, and that we won't think about science projects that are unsafe. That when we meet a male on the street that we don't know, we don't look for strike points. They say we won't "carry heavy" everywhere we go. Boy are these ****ers wrong! Just kidding. It does get better, don't do anything that can damn your soul, or put you in jail. Life sucks, but it's all we know we got. Have a mimosa for breakfast, sit and watch the river flow by, tomorrow is another chance.

I wrote this to someone else years ago.
I read it to myself sometimes.

You still have your kids, so nothing else matters.

Wikedjuggalo · #12 10-30-2007, 05:10 AM

As a child who had their parents divorce at about the age of kids, I just wanna say the worst thing was hearing the parents argue. Try to keep the kids out of anything. I hated being dragged into an argument. And also try not to get the kids in the middle of anything.

Evil One · #13 10-30-2007, 06:18 AM

I have been divorced twice.
The first was my wife of 8 years... we also had 2 children together.
Our kids never heard a cross word from either of us, that would have changed if we had tried to "stay together for the kids".
Sometimes it doesnt work out, thru no fault of either party.
People change, grow, evolve.
Sometimes a couple does it at different rates.
I was crushed by my first divorce, contemplated suicide, taking it out on her and her new boyfriend...
Work thru your pain.
You WILL make it and it does get better.
I have a great relationship with my kids, even tho they live in another state now.
I dont get along as well with ex #1 as well as I used too... but I can still sit down with her husband, drink a few beers, watch a race. This is fun just because it gets her all flustered

Give her "her space". She may decide she wants to come back... she may not. But it will work out better than if you pitch a fit and/or beg her not to go.
Women are interesting creatures, frustrating at times... but interesting.
Sometimes a cooling off period helps. Didnt for either of mine, but I know people that it has.

I know you are probably nor thinking about moving forward... but there are many fish in the sea. I decided that neither of my wives were the right one... I think I have the right one now.
Maybe your right one is out there looking for you also.
Good luck,

Jim

demonsvx · #14 10-30-2007, 12:33 PM

Thanks for your support, I need it. Scheduled a appt with lawyer tomorrow. She is willing to give me the house and joint custody,right now. She hasnt talked to her lawyer yet. All I am worrying about is my kids-dont care if I lose everything as long as I can do what I can for them. Life goes on, thats my motto right now and I hope she can find happiness in her life. Thanks Yall Damian

cdigerlando · #15 10-30-2007, 02:14 PM

It must be going around. My wife of 3.5 years left with my son of 2.5 years. She likes to hold him "hostage". It's a bear to see him. Lawyers are expensive. She wants max child support (she doesn't have a job, and doesn't intend to get one). She wants primary custody (not customary in Florida, shared is customary). I'm going to take her to court and try for custody. I think he would be much better with me at the helm, than my irresponsible wife. Courts are so biased towards women though. Talk about discrimination. What a sad state of affairs. She also took the FXT of course. I wish I never did anything nice for her. She never appreciated anything.

Good Luck