uh-oh relationship

[Earthworm]

On a more serious note...how do you honestly think she feels about you? Do you think she would dump you for the next best thing to come around or is she devoted to you? How often does she tell you she loves you? Has that changed recently?

[Royal Tiger]

She's got money and stupid parents. You'll be replaced by the second week your gone.

[yesmar]

Just do what your heart feels is right, we dont know all the details of your relationship. Its a lame quote but "if you love some one set them free, and if they come back its meant to be" or something like that. But dont let the ladies break your heart, cuz I let that happen ( I too am going off to a diff. college than my(ex)girlfriend) and she broke up with me for a conciderably older guy and i thought i was going to die for atleast a week, but to reiderate, do what you feel is best in your heart and I am sure she will understand

[Landshark]

Originally Posted by Earthworm

On a more serious note...how do you honestly think she feels about you? Do you think she would dump you for the next best thing to come around or is she devoted to you? How often does she tell you she loves you? Has that changed recently?

the dude is *18*. don't worry about a long-term, long distance relationship. it won't last, so he might as well hit whatever he can at school.

[SubaSteevo]

Originally Posted by Landshark

the dude is *18*. don't worry about a long-term, long distance relationship. it won't last, so he might as well hit whatever he can at school.

I've been in a very similar situation myself, and I decided to stick it out. A year later I came to the realization that I might be able to make it stretch out for another year, but it wasn't going to last much longer than that and eventually it would fall to pieces and pretty much end in disaster. I decided that I'd rather miss the girl I love than miss loving that girl.

[SSSVX]

Take it easy.

Think about yourself more first...

[Landshark]

Originally Posted by SubaSteevo

I've been in a very similar situation myself, and I decided to stick it out. A year later I came to the realization that I might be able to make it stretch out for another year, but it wasn't going to last much longer than that and eventually it would fall to pieces and pretty much end in disaster. I decided that I'd rather miss the girl I love than miss loving that girl.

you should have loved that girl .... and a few others, too.

i'm guessing Holmes hasn't been with a slew of women based on his age. you won't know what you like unless you sample some different flavors. college is fun time. i know too many people that were in serious, long term relationships when they were young, and they almost always ended in disaster because down the road they have regret and resentment about all the fun they missed out on.

there's plenty of time to settle down later when you're old like me.

[SilverSpear]

Originally Posted by SubaSteevo

But you also need to figure in the cost of depreciation and the increase in the number of repairs.

You also forgot the yearly inflation rate...

[green_eyed_lady]

I'm 48 years old and have been around the block a few times.

More importantly, I'm female.

Although I realize that most men (and yes, I'm generalizing here), especially the cynics, only see things in terms of finances and sex. Although I do not think or behave like any sort of "typical" female (ask anyone who knows me), I do know how most of them think. So here's my 2¢ worth:

First of all, you are only 18 -- I'm assuming the girl is around the same age or even younger. Neither of you probably knows who you are or what you want out of life at this point. If, at some future time, you meet and still have the same attraction towards each other, you can always try again. Don't burn your bridges; try to remain friends.

How long have you been dating? I'd guess it can't be more than a year or two AT THE MOST just based on your ages. The type of relationship you have in high school is MUCH different that a "real world" relationship, where you have other factors to affect you, both individually and as a couple. Most high school romances don't last, hell, most ADULT romances don't last -- just look at the divorce rates. I don't think your relationship could possibly be strong enough to survive the time and distance.

There will be temptations for both you and her while you are apart. Can you trust her and can she trust you IMPLICITLY to be able to resist those temptations? (Especially since there is usually alcohol in the vicinity of college campuses.)


My final advice to you -- keep your options open. If you truly believe this relationship is THE ONE and you are SURE she feels the same way, try it for a while, but you both need to be honest and open enough about your feelings to be able to discuss your doubts and insecurities on a regular basis. If either of you decides it is too difficult, agree to put it on hold. There are always going to be hard feelings if one of you decides they want to "see other people" and the other does not want to. DO NOT take into account the sex and/or future monetary gain -- those factors could change in the future and are not the basis of a solid relationship to begin with. And if your relationship with HER is that shallow, expect that she feels the same way about you and she will take the next best offer that comes around. ("Mr. Right Now" as opposed to "Mr. Right".)

My personal opinion (after 30-odd years of relationships) is to part as friends now and keep in touch.

Good luck to you. You have your whole life ahead of you and this is just one of the FIRST of the big decisions you will have to make.

P.S. Sorry to sound so serious and sappy, but I thought you needed a point of view which didn't factor in pu**y.

[SVXRide]

Originally Posted by green_eyed_lady

I'm 48 years old and have been around the block a few times.

More importantly, I'm female.

Di,
Nicely said! Does Tom realize how lucky he is?
-Bill

[green_eyed_lady]

Originally Posted by SVXRide

Di,
Nicely said!

All of it, or just the parts you quoted?

Originally Posted by SVXRide

Does Tom realize how lucky he is?
-Bill

I keep telling him, just in case he forgets!

[svxfiles]

Originally Posted by yesmar

Its a lame quote but "if you love some one set them free, and if they come back its meant to be" or something like that.

The quote is;
If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back to you, it is yours forever.
And if it does not come back to you,
it was never yours.




However I like the alternate ending;






Hunt it down and kill it!

[Beav]

Ditto on the "you're not old or experienced enough yet to really know what it is that you actually like" sentiments. The older you get, the less you'll think you know as much as you thought you did. Take $100, buy subscriptions to Playboy, Maxim and GQ. (male equivalents of Cosmo', et al) Even if you have a good idea of what you like/need/want I'll bet ya a dollar to a doughnut the gals you'll be dating are just as clueless/think they know what they want.

BTW - pass on the "remain friends, stay in touch" garbage. That's a sucker story for those that wanna get in trouble at a later date with a different person. Picture how you would feel if you were dating a gal that began telling you about how she stays in touch with many of her old beaus. You wouldn't like it and neither will they.

Good Grief!! Is it really so difficult for people to realize how large a group of 2+billion people is? That's a sizable group to pick from, why be in such a rush to settle for one from the first hundred or so? Only one 'right' woman for a man? (or vice-versa, equal opportunity here) Soulmates?? hahahaha Words for the 'whipped.

And the ladies are no smarter than we are when it comes to stuff like this. In fact they are just as messed up as we are. A good friend, a female if that matters, put it best, "We're all just Bozos on a bus."



I don't want to seem crass, that pic just seemed so.... appropriate.

[Alycone]

Eh, if she's rich let her visit you.

My sis ended up marrying her highschool sweetheart. They broke up before they went to college, tried dating other people, decided they didn't like other people, got married after college.

There's something to be said for ending things now while you dont hate each other, instead of fooling around while pretending to be faithful. Or trying the still kinda together on breaks, but dating other people too method. I like the still remaining friends ending, I dont see why sleeping together then not sleeping together means the friendship has to end.

[green_eyed_lady]

Originally Posted by Alycone

There's something to be said for ending things now while you dont hate each other, instead of fooling around while pretending to be faithful. Or trying the still kinda together on breaks, but dating other people too method. I like the still remaining friends ending, I dont see why sleeping together then not sleeping together means the friendship has to end.

Okay, okay, I wasn't going to do this, but......

With the exception of my ex-husband (when there's money involved, there is almost never the chance for a "friendly" divorce, unless the parties are both adult enough to be civil for the sake of the kids -- we didn't have any.) I have remained on good terms with every guy I had a "relationship" with. If I needed something, I feel I could call any of them and they would still help me out. (In most cases, without the knowledge of their current "significant other".) Of course, this only works because I refuse to date guys who are jealous of my past. If they know me, they know they can trust me not to rekindle any old flames. The same goes for their past lovers -- I have to trust them implicitly.

Tom (svxfiles) and I dated from 1977 when we met, off and on, for 13 years. In between our dating "stints", while both of us were dating other people, we kept in touch, sometimes talking weekly, sometimes not for months at a time. In 1990, he got married and moved out of state, but we still kept in touch. I got married in 1994 and separated in the spring of 2001. In the summer of 2001, I got a call from Tom telling me that his dog had died and he thought his wilfe was planning on leaving him. I had a bad feeling about the whole situation. In October, I drove down to where he worked (2-1/2 hours from my home) on a Saturday morning to make sure he was alright. I had not seen him for 11-1/2 years. As fate would have it, that was the exact weekend that his wife was moving out. He came to visit me over Thanksgiving (his family is still in the area where I lived) and we realized we still had feelings for each other. We started dating again in December and have been together ever since. I quit my job at the end of 2003 and moved in with him and his 2 teenage sons, after "long-distance" dating for 2 years -- I drove down once or twice a week to see him.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

My ex-boyfriend and I are still in regular contact via email and he helped me out when I needed to get a duplicate Birth Certificate, since he lives in the city where I had to go to get it. We had lunch and a long talk, that's all.

So, for those of you who believe in fate or karma or whatever, I guess it was meant to be. There is always hope.

I repeat to Playboy: good luck!