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#16
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Re: What is worse? Why?
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The original question still remaining: What is so horrible about a teen (we'll call it, young adult not necessarily pre-adult) having a child. |
#17
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Re: What is worse? Why?
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Why? Lower probability of maturity. That's it. Granted every case should be viewed on a case-by-case basis, as all things should.
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"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." '92 Dark Teal SVX LS-L, >146,000m 3 pedals, 5 speeds., restoration underway. 2012 Honda Insight, slow but cute. Last edited by NikFu S.; 09-28-2008 at 02:21 PM. |
#18
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Re: What is worse? Why?
Define "functional family". I loathe these terms as they are individual and no two 'function' the same. I don't like terms such as 'normal' either as I believe there is no such thing.
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#19
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While I do not enjoy the concept of normality it has it's uses in categorizing what can be accepted by a majority of people.
In this case, using the American populace as the majority, last century's tradition as a point of reference, and current statistics of rising divorce rates and various such familial "abnormalities", we can assert that any behaviour that is detrimental to the growth or establishment of the traditional 4.1 nuclear family is both abnormal and undesirable. "Functional" is defined as successful and successful is defined as maintaining the majority view of what a family should be, husband, wife, 2 kids and a dog. A dysfunctional family would I guess be a family that fights a lot, splits up, can not agree on things, have a general tension that doesn't ease, just like you can say a car that is misfiring is dysfunctional. It runs, and is still a car, but it's misfiring and that is an undesirable thingymabobber. I think I'm running out of words. I have yet to enjoy a breakfast of any sort.
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"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." '92 Dark Teal SVX LS-L, >146,000m 3 pedals, 5 speeds., restoration underway. 2012 Honda Insight, slow but cute. Last edited by NikFu S.; 09-28-2008 at 02:49 PM. |
#20
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Re: What is worse? Why?
I think the real lesson in all of this is simple. How do you prevent yourself from having a child before you're ready?
I happen to have an awesome and easy answer. Don't have sex. Simple math, you+no one = 0% chance of a child. So I should think that we all can think about this with a logical outlook and decide whats more important. A secure future, in which a child would be protected and cared for by those responsible. Or a uncertain life in which the possibility may arise that the child is unfit to be cared for by yourself and have to give it up for adoption. I don't mean to demean anyone who has had a child and wasn't ready, or who decided to take the risk. Or simply anyone who has had a child and was happy. I am simply stating the risk is known, the statistics are there, all that's left is for you to take that and apply it as you see fit. Not worried about dealing with a child, go out and do as you please. However for the majority of young adults who are not financially or emotionally ready, just wait. I realize that it can be hard to not want to reward urges or desires. I'll be the first to admit, I've not always ignored them, however, the odds are in your favor if you limit, or just don't go along with those passions. I say this with the view point of someone who is 20 and is well aware of the consequences of my actions.
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Jordan 1992 SVX LS-L 126,xxx Sold 1990 Non-Turbo 300zx 127,xxx 1991 Non-Turbo MR2 214,xxx, replaced engine at 190,xxx Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... Last edited by BeneathNorthernSkys; 09-28-2008 at 04:07 PM. |
#21
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Re: What is worse? Why?
quote error...
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Jordan 1992 SVX LS-L 126,xxx Sold 1990 Non-Turbo 300zx 127,xxx 1991 Non-Turbo MR2 214,xxx, replaced engine at 190,xxx Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... |
#22
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Re: What is worse? Why?
So your assuming in this statement, that having multiple jobs, you'll be there to care for that child. I would like to think that everyone would be able to do so, but the reality is, that working multiple jobs, means not being there a HUGE portion of the time. I guess that kid can raise them self though, so no biggie right?
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Jordan 1992 SVX LS-L 126,xxx Sold 1990 Non-Turbo 300zx 127,xxx 1991 Non-Turbo MR2 214,xxx, replaced engine at 190,xxx Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... |
#23
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Re: What is worse? Why?
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This reminded me of the SNL sketch with Will Ferrell and Cheri O Teri. "Sex can wait. MASTURBATE!"
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Rebecca 92 Claret SVX LS-L (180k) 09/91 #5,732 06 Suzuki Boulevard M50 7k 68 Cadillac Coupe DeVille (70k) Storage/hibernation for now. Past SVXs: 94 SVX Emerald Pearl FWD (Sold) 96 SVX Bourdeaux LSi (Sold) 92 Pearl SVX LSL "Stay Puft" 5MT (140k) #148 (RIP) 95 Brilliant Red SVX LS (162k) 12/94 #564 "Killer Tomato" (RIP) |
#24
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Re: What is worse? Why?
Well, I'm glad someone got a good laugh out of that
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Jordan 1992 SVX LS-L 126,xxx Sold 1990 Non-Turbo 300zx 127,xxx 1991 Non-Turbo MR2 214,xxx, replaced engine at 190,xxx Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... |
#25
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Re: What is worse? Why?
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Where I'm mostly going here is that these 'kids' would stand a much better chance if we gave up on the nagging, lecturing and generally downward looking attitude and just gave them some advice that didn't make them start off feeling like a failure. They don't need to feel as though they made a huge mistake, at very least that isn't healthy for a pregnancy or during the lovely postpartom depression stages of parenthood. As a society we need to be more supportive of what needs to happen and less nagging of what has already taken place. |
#26
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Re: What is worse? Why?
Why should society give sympathy for individuals who CHOOSE to become more intimately involved. I in no way am arguing that we should throw rocks at them or any kind of witch hunt. What should be said about this is something that is age old and will probably make me sound like some bible thumper but regardless here it goes....marriage was established for a reason, and with that said I think it stands obvious why. Young adults would find that by not involving themselves in such an intimate level is for their own saftey. You run such a lower risk of these issues. Not only that, but if more people simply waited tell they were married to do so, they wouldn't be worrying about whether their child would have two parents. Not that all households with two parents turn out good, but statistically their more stable.
Welcome to the real world. I think this country has lost a lot of moral integrity and it's evident in the views that are shared across the states. I think we should all do well to reflect on the standards that made this into the country it once was and all strive to bring that back. Call me old fashioned but I have not experienced many of the stresses that I hear from friends and acquaintances, I attribute this to a quality that I am glad I have, personal restraint. In fact don't call it old fashioned, maybe I just use logic before I let emotions get the best of me. P.S - just because two parents work, doesn't mean that they aren't there for their children. Not only should that be noted, but Ideally one parent could be home. Setting yourself up financially is always at the fore front of this topic because it is the number ONE reason that issues arise. To argue this point is just flat out ignorance.
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Jordan 1992 SVX LS-L 126,xxx Sold 1990 Non-Turbo 300zx 127,xxx 1991 Non-Turbo MR2 214,xxx, replaced engine at 190,xxx Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... Last edited by BeneathNorthernSkys; 09-28-2008 at 08:09 PM. |
#27
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Re: What is worse? Why?
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I personally have a generous amount of personal restraint, I use it to refrain from badgering a person who doesn't need it in this case. I don't see the need to down talk someone who needs support. In the case of pregnancy, even a 45 year old could use support. When we offer "sympathy" to the teens, we send it off more like pity, and that is a shame. Quote:
I am far from ignorant on this issue, I'm not attempting to say that finances aren't a challenge for them, what I'm asking for is something more than that. We have all known teenagers far more mature emotionally than others just as we have known 30 year olds with the maturity level of a chimpanzee, so I also don't consider that to be a solid position. I want to know why when "many" of these families don't work out or 'fail' in the public eye (and that's only looking at statistics from this culture being the arrogant a$$e$ we are) we treat them all with the same 'you horny dip$h!t attitude'. Last edited by iizbeastie; 09-28-2008 at 08:53 PM. |
#28
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Maybe "throwing away" is a bit strong of a term but let's be real, said future parent would be out a looooot of free time and be at a severe disadvantage in the modern workforce waiting for college after a birth.
__________________
"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." '92 Dark Teal SVX LS-L, >146,000m 3 pedals, 5 speeds., restoration underway. 2012 Honda Insight, slow but cute. |
#29
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Re: What is worse? Why?
It is a truly amusing and oddly interesting book. They call it the bible and you can find it in almost any store these days......
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So again, can I accept how people feel about this? Yes, and it's exactly the problem I am attempting to address. |
#30
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Children will last up to 18 years. Longer if ..things happen. It seems logical to me to spend the best years of my youth in preparation for that which I consider the greatest challenge in life. This to me seems like a natural progression, doing things from easiest to most difficult/time consuming.
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"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." '92 Dark Teal SVX LS-L, >146,000m 3 pedals, 5 speeds., restoration underway. 2012 Honda Insight, slow but cute. |
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