Why you should never work on a car yourself

Since the age of nine years, My father has always instructed me in the matters of simple car maintenance - oil changes, swap a tire, check washer fluid, etc. Things had generally gone well; no engines run dry or filters pop off or anything like that. But I have always had a tendency to do something stupid at least once. This may involve leaving a radiator cap loose right before a skiing trip or spilling oil all over the driveway. But todays events and my last maintenance spectable (unbeknownst to me at the time) make me want to just use the $20 transmission special coupon at Bob's Auto Barn and let them figure it out.

About one month (and 1200 miles ago) I decided to swap out the transmission fluid. I bought a case of oil and got to work. I loosened the first bolt I came to which was past the oil pan. "Hmm, not too much oil coming out." Well, no kidding. So I take another car back to the auto store to get two quarts of gear oil (front diff takes 1.3). I get home and I've been figuring that maybe I could do the rear one too. Well, guess what the 1.3 + 0.8 = 2.1 quarts, which is just slightly greater than 2. I would have left out 0.05 out of each of 'em but I've gotta keep the receipts for this warranty thing and they're probably pretty good at turning up stuff like that. Besides, I couldn't get the plug to the rear diff off anyway (NEVER take off the bottom one before you can get the top one off; at least I caught myself on that one). So anyway I start getting to the transmission and drain it, and fill it up with what I thought was MaxLife ATF. Who would have thought they put both Motor Oil AND ATF in bottles that look freakin' the exact same? I had bought some MaxLife before when of course I thought incorrectly that I was losing fluid.

So anyway so far so good for the last 1200 miles, when I was running a 60-40 mix of 10W-30 and ATF. I decided today would be a good day to put my new filter in the transmission and clean off the magnet. Well, the magnet wasn't too bad but had some sludge on the top of it, and very few metal filings. Removed screws to get to filter, and of course that stupid pipe was in the way. I got smart and wedged a screwdriver between the pipe and the filter, popped right out (and hit me too, of course). Puts a dent in the filter but it's thrown away anyway. That right there was probably the highlight of the day. But then I screw everything back together and grab the quart of what I thought was tranny fluid to put into the engine. A few seconds of pouring it in and I realized that it said "MOTOR OIL" on the sticker. I had done it again! This morning I had went by to purchase some transmission cooler hose to replace the front ones, and a quart of oil to go with what I thought was the five quarts left over from last time. So this time I go back to the auto parts store and get two quarts of ATF (I quadruple-check the label this time) and some gasket seal and back home I come. As I put six quarts of those red bottles on top of the engine to pour into the transmission tube, I noticed that more than one still said Motor Oil. I just about had a heart attack. Apparently I bought that case of oil and poured in seven quarts into the transmission, and was about to do the same thing again. About this time I wanted to bang my head into the wall, but the voice of reason says to just get some ATF and run it through for a while and then change it again. So anyway I have done that now but I estimate that there is now about 1.5 quarts of motor oil out of a total of ten quarts of "stuff."

At this point I don't really care anymore. I've driven with 10W-30 in the transmission just fine. If it tears apart, fine. My warranty company can replace it. All my contract states is a "loss of fluid," not putting the wrong crap in there. This isn't even the half of what has gone on today. But I have some lessons learned:

1. No matter how well you think you can tackle the simplest car job, make sure you have at least four people supervising you at all times.
2. The rag to wipe up all the oil you are spilling in the garage is three feet out of reach when you need it.
3. If you have lemonade or any other liquid or open bottle of oil within five feet of your maintenace project, you will kick it over.
4. If you set a tool down, it will disappear. Not the kind of disappear where you're laying on it and you say "oh, here it is." No, it just disappears for a good hour-and-a-half until you find you put it in some obscure place in the kitchen when getting yourself something to drink.
5. Some plastic oil containers do not drain down as fast as the oil pan in the SVX. 98% of all plastic oil containers were designed my traned chimps from the knoxville zoo and will leak from their drain caps onto the garage floor you just wiped up.
6. Heatshields surrounding the exhaust pipes are for the ground's protection, not your own. They are very very hot.
7. Do not force new Transmission cooler line onto the steel tubes. These steel tubes bend and crimp, unfortunately much better than cheap rubber hose.

As far as I'm concerned, I should not be allowed to work on any car, ever. I hope nothing goes wrong this next month because I will probably refuse to fix it.

[Seraph]

Man, you had a nice busy day. I am swapping parts between 2 cars too. And burnt myself as well. freeking hot ovens. One thing I hate doing on the SVX is changing the plugs. Last time, my friend helped. Took us 2 hours or so and lost multiple tools too. Luckily, he had another dozen or so of the same spanners and what not.

Working on cars can be fun. But can become a pain as well.

Lwin

[Ron Mummert]

You drove 1200 miles on a mix of 10W-30 & ATF & didn't notice any difference in shifting? Good grief, man, perhaps you've discovered a magic formula for preserving the fragile SVX clutches.
Any chemists out there wanna' comment on this one?
All ears - Ron.

Originally posted by Ron Mummert
You drove 1200 miles on a mix of 10W-30 & ATF & didn't notice any difference in shifting? Good grief, man, perhaps you've discovered a magic formula for preserving the fragile SVX clutches.
Any chemists out there wanna' comment on this one?
All ears - Ron.

Yeah, I seriously could not tell a difference, even now that I've partially changed it out. The only thing though is that maybe before it warms up, when shifting to third it was little slow but that would quickly disappear. I think it always kinda did that though..

Oh well, time will tell I guess. I'm too tired to care if the thing has 100% motor oil in it I'm going to bed Just glad I didn't break anything, at least not yet..

[Trevor]

Hi Garrett,

Pat yourself on the back. You have done something many others would not attempt in this day and age. You have learned a lot and are wiser for it and in this sense you would be wise to take heart, sit back, enjoy and appreciate what you have accomplished.

All the do it yourself handy man brigade have been there done that and come out on top so join in but don't despair or give up. Experience is not for sale or to be bought but you have gained plenty.

Your admission of problems is admirable but do not reflect failure, particularly as you have worked out the answers and have gone to great lengths to pass on the experience to others. I have I believe more years behind me than any other on the net so you may accept that these comments are in no way patronising.

You come across as I nice guy. Regards to you and your girl who I am sure is also very nice, hold on to her tight. Trevor.

Well, thank you Trevor, I appreciate that

[Aredubjay]

Garrett,
I just got around to reading your post (I've actually been busy at work, for once). Very well written, and the entertainment highlight of my week. Thank you for sharing.

[Mr. Pockets]

Originally posted by gcookaustin
7. Do not force new Transmission cooler line onto the steel tubes. These steel tubes bend and crimp, unfortunately much better than cheap rubber hose.

Yeah, I learned that one, too. Luckily I only bent mine a little. Incidentally, what size and type of tubing did you buy? I bought 3/8 inch fuel injection tubing. Apparently the pressures that the tubing is subjected to...blah blah blah. Anyway, the first time the store sold me 5/16 inch tubing, which I could force on, but that's what was bending the metal tubes. The 3/8 inch tubing, which I returned to buy an hour later, fit much better and flows more ATF...

...or motor oil, in your case.

Just kidding.

Don't despair. Whether DIYer or pro, we all make mistakes. Just think before you turn a wrench or pour something into a hole and you'll be fine.

I did a lot of work on my SVX about a month ago (alternator, timing belt, plugs, front crank seal, fluids, etc), and nothing's broken or fallen off or drained onto the road YET. The satisfaction that comes from the knowledge that I did all that work is worth the money I saved and the risks I took. Keep at it.

I bought 3/8 ID Transmission cooler tubing. I've got just enough left to do the two tinier pieces above the steering rack, but it's impossible to see down in there? I managed to get one clamp loose and pull an end off, but I realized that if I took both those hoses off I would probably never get the new ones on. Is there a good method for doing that?

[Mr. Pockets]

Originally posted by gcookaustin
I bought 3/8 ID Transmission cooler tubing. I've got just enough left to do the two tinier pieces above the steering rack, but it's impossible to see down in there? I managed to get one clamp loose and pull an end off, but I realized that if I took both those hoses off I would probably never get the new ones on. Is there a good method for doing that?

Hmph. I dunno. I didn't look at mine. I suppose I probably should. I used up every inch of the tubing I bought because I kept cutting one of the cooler lines too short. Or, my favorite, I'd put the tubing on the cooler, install it (too tight to install the tubing afterwards - at least it was the first time, but since the cooler fasteners are one-timers I had to figure it out TWO OR THREE TIEMS after that) and THEN cut the tibing too short.

Luckily, the cooler came with tubing, which I haven't used because I didn't realize I had it until AFTER the two trips to the parts store.

[solarsvx]

gcook austin,, that is too funnny.. sorry i had a smile out of it cause i dont the same stupid stuff before "not that bad though" atleast u atempted to do it and finished.well next time u will learn your lesson and dont make the same mistake twice.

the most stupidist thing i have ever done was replacing my turbo on my dsm. cause the stock blew up , some how a washer got into the intake tube of the turbo god knows how? or why? dumb ass me not thinking to check every thing out before dricing i drove it for 3 days like this it completly chewed the turbine wheel up , bamm !! there went a 900.00 turbo. i have still kicked my self in the arse for this.. stupid stupid stupid.

[richeich]

Hey Garrett, at least you know what you did. If you paid them goobers at Jiffylube, and they did that to it, you'd never know. At least this way you can monitor the situation closely and correct it. Lesson learned, great experience, life goes on. I bet you won't do it again!

Originally posted by richeich
I bet you won't do it again!

Yeah, that's for sure. What will be interesting is when I drive to work on Monday; there's a certain stretch of road where the torque converter locks up (because it's reached its temperature). I'm kinda curious as to whether it will be sooner or later

[Beav]

I always figured that if you're not making a mistake, you're not trying hard enough... Just remember, you're not learning anything if you do it right the first time.

Keep up the good work.

[immortal_suby]

I replaced the radiator hoses, radiator cap, low pressure power steering hose, power steering fluid, and then cleaned the whole engine compartment and interior today in preparation for the drive to Indiana.
With the SVX shining - we headed out to Hooters for Hot-Rodded cars night - they fill the parking lots with about 100 cars and its usually a fun time and there are some cool cars there- but not tonight. About halfway there smoke starts rolling out from under the hood and the A/C belt starts squealing. At first I told my wife it was just the stuff burning off from cleaning the engine.

Then the temp gauge tells the truth.

I only tightened the upper radiator hose clamp with a nutdriver by hand, but I guess it was tight enough to crush the radiator neck. It disintegrated the whole circumference of and puked out most of the coolant into the engine compartment.
There was enough neck left to slide the hose on further, dump a -full gallon- of water in there (and there was room for more) and limp back home with my tail between my legs. Didn't even go to Hooters even though I was craving some buffalo wings and a pitcher of Fosters. I was too embarassed to pull in there stinking of antifreeze. Of course she had to add -"would this have happened if you hadn't put new hoses on?" Hopefully 1stsubaruparts can get the $280 radiator to me in time for the trip to Indiana. Why is the plastic so weak - mine has cracked twice now, her's cracked already...

gcookaustin - You're not the only one who has had a simple PM job turn into a nightmare.