The Subaru SVX World Network   SVX Network Forums
Live Chat!
SVX or Subaru Links
Old Lockers
Photo Post
How-To Documents
Message Archive
SVX Shop Search
IRC users:

Go Back   The Subaru SVX World Network > SVX Main Forums > General SVX Babble

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-14-2002, 09:31 AM
solarsvx solarsvx is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: orlando fla
Posts: 1,672
Send a message via AIM to solarsvx
Registered SVX
work ethics "funny"

REVISED EMPLOYEE RULES

SICKDAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need
all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The
vacation days are as follows:
Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
friends, relatives or coworkers.
Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the
arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour
early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks
notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order.
For instance, all employees whose
names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin
with 'B' will go from 8:20 to
8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be
necessary to wait until the next day
when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their
time with a coworker.
Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In
addition, there is now a strict
3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm
will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they
can look healthy, normal size
people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain thee
average figure. Fat people get 5
minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast &
take a diet pill.

DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we
see you wearing $350 Prada
shoes & carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financial and
therefore you do not need a
raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation's, or input should
be directed elsewhere. Have a
nice week.

Management
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-14-2002, 10:13 AM
Mr. Pockets's Avatar
Mr. Pockets Mr. Pockets is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 6,916
Send a message via ICQ to Mr. Pockets
Registered SVX
Hmm...I was about to say that those policies would work well for my office, but then I noticed that there are no provisions for taking foosball breaks.
__________________


2005 RX-8 Grand Touring
2005 Outback
2002 Mercedes-Benz E320 wagon

END OF LINE
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-14-2002, 11:53 AM
SHISVX SHISVX is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: converted to PA
Posts: 3,064
how abouts a break from the day for the SVX network???

Kelli
__________________
Previous owner of the
Princess Pearlie "Dimples"
as of 8/6/03
1992 LS-L Pearl 124k
"Yeah, that thingy!"
owner of the new 1992 LS-L Pearl "Susie"
I am a pessimistic optimistic. I think the worst is going to happen, that way when it does, i don't feel as bad, but if the best happens, i am twice as happy.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-14-2002, 12:21 PM
Mr. Pockets's Avatar
Mr. Pockets Mr. Pockets is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 6,916
Send a message via ICQ to Mr. Pockets
Registered SVX
Quote:
Originally posted by SHISVX
how abouts a break from the day for the SVX network???

Kelli
Oh, well, I just keep the SVX Network open all day on my other monitor.
__________________


2005 RX-8 Grand Touring
2005 Outback
2002 Mercedes-Benz E320 wagon

END OF LINE
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-14-2002, 02:58 PM
Never2phat Never2phat is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Enola, Pennsylvania
Posts: 229
Talking My Work policies

How my work works:

SICKDAYS: As many as needed. Im taking two this weekend.......Having tendonitis in your shoulder sucks.

SURGERY: Haven't been there yet

PERSONAL DAYS: Sunday thru Thursday. I think that is enough

VACATION DAYS: Whenever I want them and as many as needed

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: My boss has joked about having to train my own replacement. The peeps under me right now are brain dead and worthless

RESTROOM USE: Whenever. Even if we went by the alphabet deal it wouldnt take too long to go thru 12 or so employees.

LUNCH BREAK: Olives(from martinis) and cherries(from mixed drinks)

DRESS CODE: What is that?

Network breaks: Haven't ever done it. Don'y know why though. Monitor ar work is 21 inch which beats my home monitor of 15 inch

B.C
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2001-2015 SVX World Network
(208)-906-1122