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  #1  
Old 02-16-2004, 04:28 PM
YodaIsGod
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30 things you can do now to get ready for the upcoming autocross season

Here it is again......
Here are 30 things you can do now to get ready for the upcoming autocross season:

1. Put on clothes you would typically wear on a hot day. Run in place, in your shower, with cold water cascading down on you, and sporadically bend over and pick up something. Do this for 1 hour.

2. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

4. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

5. Put on clothes you would typically wear on a cold day. Go to a steel plant and run in place next to the smelter and sporadically bend over and pick something up. Do this for 1 hour.

6. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

7. Got to a tanning salon and get a good sunburn on your face. Then, put your face in front of a fan, turn the fan on, and throw sand into the back of it.

8. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

9. Crawl under your car and sporadically drop nuts and bolts, hot oil, grease, and old rubber hoses on your face. Scrape a hose clamp across your knuckles.

10. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

11. Pour oil and anti-freeze all over your body, put sunscreen in your eyes, and stand in the sun for 1 hour.

12. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

13. Don't drink any liquid for 12 hours. Then quickly drink 4 cans of beer.

14. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

15. Drink 3 cups of coffee and wait 6 hours before going to the bathroom at the worst gas station you can find.

16. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

17. Push your car up and down the block 3 times wearing your helmet with the visor down.

18. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

19. Find a highway construction area and run over every orange cone you can see. Then get out, walk back, and put every cone back in its place while arguing with each construction worker you encounter.

20. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

21. Get up at 4:00am and drive in heavy traffic for five hours - anywhere - towing your race car.

22. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

23. Push a small bucket over your head before you go to bed each night.

24. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

25. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Sporadically pop one of the lenses out and scrape it on the ground.

26. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

27. Buy a new pair of driving gloves or shoes and immediately throw one away.

28. Throw $25 away right now (SCCA members throw away $20).

29. Slam your thumb in a car door. Take a short length of 2" round pipe and bash yourself in the head with it. Run over your foot with your car. Periodically stumble and fall.

30. Repeat all of the above every Sunday until it's time for the real thing.
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  #2  
Old 02-16-2004, 04:36 PM
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Phast SVX Phast SVX is offline
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FYI for whoever wrote that, SCCA(spoiled children crashing automobiles) tends to be more expensive other autocrosses(grammer?)around here.
phil
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  #3  
Old 02-16-2004, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phast SVX
FYI for whoever wrote that, SCCA(spoiled children crashing automobiles) tends to be more expensive other autocrosses(grammer?)around here.
phil
Do you mean that SCCA autocrosses tend to be more expensive than events run by other organizations? I'm not trying to nitpick - I'm just confused.

Who else runs events in your area and how much do those cost? Are there any rules differences that you're aware of?
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Old 02-16-2004, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Pockets


Do you mean that SCCA autocrosses tend to be more expensive than events run by other organizations? I'm not trying to nitpick - I'm just confused.

Who else runs events in your area and how much do those cost? Are there any rules differences that you're aware of?
MSCC(sports car council) is the one most people join around here. There is one other that runs at lots around town too.
phil
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  #5  
Old 02-16-2004, 05:29 PM
YodaIsGod
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phast SVX
FYI for whoever wrote that, SCCA(spoiled children crashing automobiles) tends to be more expensive other autocrosses(grammer?)around here.
phil
you pay for the memberships. non-members usually pay more.
just enjoy the damn list
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  #6  
Old 02-16-2004, 05:59 PM
Brock94SVX
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geesh....a lil picky on the details arn't we -lol- i think we'll just start calling Phil "Dr. Phil" and yes are grammer is bad...i guess it helps to proof read stuff when you can't type that well ?...mental note....(correct spelling) NOTED!

j/k
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  #7  
Old 02-16-2004, 06:17 PM
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The SCCA might be a little more but they have GREAT insurance for their events. Have you ever wrecked then called your insurance co and told them that a cone jumped out in front of you.
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  #8  
Old 02-16-2004, 09:31 PM
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if i crash my car in a parking lot i would have to make myself pay for it for being that stupid!!!
phil
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  #9  
Old 02-17-2004, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phast SVX
if i crash my car in a parking lot i would have to make myself pay for it for being that stupid!!!
phil
Ah but what about the wheel falling off the Neon and it crashing into your car.
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