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You know you're in Wisconsin if....
Believe me, these are all true...
Ah, the Badger State. If you can relate to any of these, join. You've never met any celebrities. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. "Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells. You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town, I wanna go with." All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked. You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. You carry jumper cables in your car. You own just three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You define -20 degrees F "a little chilly." You know all four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction. You can gauge the depth of your relationship by the number of fingers your friends use to wave to you as you pass by on the road. You measure distance in minutes. The corner bar is decorated with neon Pabst signs instead of hanging ferns. You know several people who have hit a deer. Your school classes were cancelled because of cold. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter. You "borrow" your neighbor your snowblower and hope he returns it before the next storm. (And you don't know why there are quotation marks around the word borrow in that sentence.) You see people wear bib overalls at funerals. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports. You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. You refer to the Packers as "we." A significant portion of your relatives work on a dairy farm. You can make sense out the words upnort and Trivers. You can identify a Michigan accent. You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike. Down South to you means Chicago. Traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee. The Big Three means Miller, Old Milwaukee, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. A brat is something you eat. You were offended by the movie Fargo. You know that Eau Claire is not something you eat. You have no problem spelling Milwaukee. You consider Madison exotic. You know that Gotham is a real city. You can actually pronounce Oconomowoc. You go out for fish fry every Friday. You can recognize someone from Illinois or Iowa by their driving. Bernie Brewer is your idol because he gets to dive into a giant beer mug. You know how to polka. You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London, Poland all in one afternoon. You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof. Bucky the Badger hangs on your Christmas tree even if you didn't go to University of Wisconsin-Madison. You’ve considered voting Brett Favre for president. You can use the word “ya der hey? easily in a sentence. Your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. You define Summer as three months of bad sledding. You have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce. A Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer. You tell someone where you are from and they say, "I thought that was part of Canada." You have more fishing poles than teeth. Every sweatshirt you own is either red and white or green and gold. FFA was the most popular club in high school. You have eaten a cream puff at the State Fair. You have to drive thirty minutes to the nearest movie theater. At every wedding you have been to you have had to dance the hoky poky and the chicken dance. You ever went to a wedding reception in a bowling alley. You know it's traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the ceremony and the reception. You own at least one cheese head. Sunday afternoons are sacred for the Packer game. Saturdays are sacred for the Badger game. You have ever been to State Street in Madison during a protest of something. You get irritated at sports announcers that pronounce it "Wes-con-sin." You have experienced snow storms in May. You have had school closed due to wind chills and frostbite warnings. You know what a "flat-lander" is and you know all the "why Wisconsin is better than Illinois" jokes. You get choked up when you hear the University Marching Band play "On Wisconsin" or "Varsity." You have partied at "Summerfest." You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair. Sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. The trunk of you car doubles as a deep freezer. Your hometown buys a Zamboni when they need a bus. You drive 65 miles per hour through snow without flinching. It takes you three hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. You buy your Christmas presents at Farm and Fleet or Fleet Farm. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed. |
#2
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
I'm not from Wisconsin, and I've never been there, but I found some of thsoe pretty damn funny.
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1992 SVX LS-L #1222 Pearl White 1987 GL Turbo wagon, 5 lug conversion, D/R 5 speed (Rice killer) 1992 Dodge Ram 4x4 diesel (car hauler) 1968 Dodge Polara convertible (Camaro killer) 1990 Toyota Corolla FWD auto (330,000 mile grocery getter) 1986 VW Jetta |
#3
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
most of those apply to my small town too.
They think that you are driving some futuristic ufo car.
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1985 Brat GL 138k 91 CRX Si 40k 91 CRX Si 155k 97 SVX Lsi 70k 2003 s2000 91 RT4WD 166K |
#4
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
I have been to Fon du Lac, WI on several occasions, and I approve of this message.
I am surprised that there are no mentions of roads named after the alphabet.
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Chris SVX World Network Administrator -1993 Subaru SVX LS-L, Barcelona Red, #46, 160,000+ Miles (Sold to SomethingElse) -2011 Toyota Sienna SE, Black, 30,000+ Miles (Swagger Wagon ) -2002 BMW R 1150R ABS, Black, 26,000+ Miles (Daily Driver ) SVX Owner from February 1997 to March 2008 SVX Online Community Member since February 1998 SVX World Network Member since February 2002, Member #520 Life is a game. Play to win. The world belongs to those who can laugh at it. |
#5
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
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Oh and I should say that one may not be true for our city. A few years ago Kevin Costner had the first showing of his movie "Open Range" at our theater here. There was a lot of buzz here and the reason for it was Herb Kohler Jr. was in the movie and it was a fundraiser for an art center here owned by Kohler. (and yes this is the Kohler family that owns the toilet company) |
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
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I also drove tractors pretty early on, but probably not before my training wheels were off.
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2005 RX-8 Grand Touring 2005 Outback 2002 Mercedes-Benz E320 wagon END OF LINE |
#7
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
The sad thing is that you can't even know where you are with the stupid alphabet county highways. In our county alone there are 5 separate Cnty Hwy "A"s(not kidding). They go in a circle in the county but there is just plain county A, A East, A west, A north, and of course A south. But on actual roadsigns they are all just "A". So if you ever come to Wisconsin, good luck finding where you need to go.
There are also 7 other county hwy "A"s in other surrounding counties Needless to say, Wisconsin is Oh and you don't wanna get lost here. Wisconsin was home to some of the most famous serial killers. Just do a wikipedia search on Ed Gein who was the basis for movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Or Jeffrey Dahmer |
#8
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
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Stopped by the EAA museum and took a flight in an open cockpit bi-plane too, what a trip!
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Chris SVX World Network Administrator -1993 Subaru SVX LS-L, Barcelona Red, #46, 160,000+ Miles (Sold to SomethingElse) -2011 Toyota Sienna SE, Black, 30,000+ Miles (Swagger Wagon ) -2002 BMW R 1150R ABS, Black, 26,000+ Miles (Daily Driver ) SVX Owner from February 1997 to March 2008 SVX Online Community Member since February 1998 SVX World Network Member since February 2002, Member #520 Life is a game. Play to win. The world belongs to those who can laugh at it. |
#9
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
True. I dated a girl from Wisconsin a few years ago and on a trip there we spent a whole weekend in the Dells (Still have my "Swig at Nig's" glasses) and as it was explained to me was "This is where people in Wisconsin go when they can't take a real vacation" .
Surprised there was no mention of Butter Burgers, Leinie's and "Squeaks" on the list though.
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1996 Subaru SVX LSi #143 2005 Mazda RX-8 Shinka 2003 BMW F650CS |
#10
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
Quote:
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#11
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
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I could see how they love the Brats. We went to Bratfest 2005 in Madison and had a lot of fun, though I prefer the Butter Burgers myself. That, and the Kringles from Racine. I still have her get me some whenever she goes back. I know I can order them online but it's not the same.
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1996 Subaru SVX LSi #143 2005 Mazda RX-8 Shinka 2003 BMW F650CS |
#12
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Re: You know you're in Wisconsin if....
Yeah, they just built a HUGE hotel/waterpark here in our crummy city. In its first year it lost $58 million. Its almost always empty...Oh yeah, and its sinking into Lake Michigan at 2 cm per year, and its haunted.
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