The Drive Home From Hell

[BoominSVX]

oooooo, oooooooo, what happens next, ohhh this is getting so exciting isn't it!...

[Mr. Pockets]

Oh, man...what have I turned loose?

HA! I love it!

It's going to be hard to resist submitting my own additions, but I've had my turn and I have a lot of work to do today...

...must...focus...creative energy...on work!

[SHISVX]

i could almost taste the salt from the water as the waves crashed down on my windshield. the rain was relentless. just minutes ago, the sky was clear and now, i feel like day has turned into night on the home front. only my radio to keep me company. the drive was long and hard.

i felt the pain as did my baby while the rain drop tears came rushing down her face. the wipers whisked by and brushed them away only to allow more space for the balls of frozen ice.

lightening struck. feeling the vibrations from the boom she hesitated. then i saw lights from behind... it was big and monsterous. the white demon followed closely, too closely. i could feel the heat from the radiator of the beast that chased my every move like a shadow.

if seeing was believing, i had no beliefs. the rush of the tidal waves that encased my car blinded me. it was like they were trying to make me falter. almost trying to hide the power lines that had snaked across the road as they hunted for their prey.

quick reaction saved me from the connection as i safely dodged them.

a ball of light in the sky caught my eye. i watched the electricity conduct through the atmostsphere and into a near by tree. then it happened. the branch cracked and fell on a nearby car. blowing out all of the windows and leaving it's permanet mark on the roof. i shuddered thanking the Lord that it wasn't me. i pasted on and stopped at a traffic light.

i needed the rest. the look of worry on my baby had suddenly disappeared. the sky opened up for a moment. the wind had ceased. the hose of the storm had turned off to a trickle. the sky was blue again. i collected myself and proceeded to my destination.

ahh, my love goes out to the inventor of AWD

Kelli

[Beav]

Three more blocks and two more turns and we were at her corner. "Out ya go, and take that cheesy trenchcoat off, you're hiding the merchandise. I'll be back to pick you up around three o'clock and you better have all the money. You remember what happened to little Loretta when she tried skimming from me, don'tcha?"

She slammed the door on her way out and took her position, leaning against the lightpost in front of the town's only Hooters. She was cute, a little too cute maybe. Maybe I should trade her to Slick Willie for a couple lower maintenance models. As I made my way down the next two blocks I remembered that Slick had called and said he wanted to get together for a little business talk. I didn't like him and I didn't trust him, but sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

I pulled into Slick's place about a quarter of eleven. 'The Owensboro Social Club for Distinguished Gentlemen', what a riot, as if there was anybody in town that fit that bill. I parked the car and as I was getting out someone grabbed and yanked me as if I was a half-full sack of groceries. Slamming me against the car next to mine a gruff voice boomed, "

[SVXphile]

"Slamming me against the car next to mine a gruff voice boomed...." "Sorry to disappoint ya, but Slick Willie can't make it....and in a few moments, you ain't gonna make it either!" His firm grasp of my lapels told me something was not going according to plan. He maneuvered me alongside some sleek Italian-looking set of wheels that glowed a pearl white beneath the street lamp....almost as brightly as the fire in his eyes. He had my complete attention. "That corner at Hooters is off -limits to you and your ladies of the night as of NOW! Slick Willie didn't listen, and now he's being fitted for a box from Batesville. That corner belongs to the Girl Scout cookie drive, the senior class car wash, and anybody exercisin' their first ammendment rights...UNDERSTAND?" As he lowered me to my more normal 5'8" stature, he continued..."Now go collect the dame and take an unexpected vacation in a southerly direction...say two tanks full....and if I ever recognize your face around here again, no one else will EVER recognize it!" "No problem....I read you loud and clear!" I mumbled as I slowly backed toward my car. I slumped into the seat thinking of the good luck and bad luck that had just been mixed together in my life like a Hamilton Beach on blend. As I started the car and glanced into the rearview, his Kentucky plate was illuminated by my back up lights..."AREDUBJAY". I didn't grasp the meaning right off, but I felt in my bones that it was a license to kill...

Next...Don

[Aredubjay]

I reached into my inside jacket pocket and pulled out a fresh stogie. The light from the flame of my Zippo danced off my face as I watched the Sap and his loose lady high tailing it. Their tail lights shrinking to a red pinprick in the darkness. I chuckled to myself as I remembered the look on the guy's face when I mentioned "first ammendment rights." I hit the "auto down" button on my power window cluster to let the smoke curl out and over the glistening black top of my car. I thought to myself, "what has this world come to? When a guy just thinks he can drop off a dame at ANY corner?" This time, he'd made the mistake of dropping some bimbo on MY corner, a corner of the world that should be kept clean for all my friends. That's one of the reasons Slick Willie won't be coming back -- he and the fishes are takin' a long nap together.

As I turn the key, the engine roars, then purrs. I look over my left shoulder -- traffic's clear. I pull into the dark night, looking for more wrongs to right, slowly disappearing into the mist as the smoke from my cigar merges with the fog.

Next . . .

[Ron Mummert]

I pull into the dark night, looking for more wrongs to right, slowly disappearing into the mist as the smoke from my cigar merges with the fog.

Next . . . [/B][/QUOTE]

"And that's it, kids, for tonight's episode of Ace Ardub, Vette Detective; brought to you by our sponsor, Ripimoff Industries - building mediocre products for the less discriminate masses".

OK, kids, its time to order your Ace Ardub Secret TCU/CPU decoder ring! That's right, we can all help our hero catch the bad guys, even if his semi-trusty steed, Pearlie, decides to flash her "Check Everything" dash lights while in hot persuit of sleazebags trying to corner the market on, uhh...corners. Now - when Ace is having fits with serious 2-3 flares while in pursuit of evil ricers, you can help him by connecting your ring's USB port to the TV jack. By pressing the "secret" code buttons in the proper sequence with your stylus, you can diagnose Pearlie's headaches, & fix her right away, so Ace can complete his mission, easily catching those elusive Eclipses & Preludes. Remember, kids, to get your "secret" codes, just send 10 boxtops from Ripimoff's delicious Breakfast of Also Rans, Twinkie-Dinks, to: Ripimoff Industries - Vittles Department, P.O. Box 666, Kabul, Afghanistan. Don't forget to add $27.95 shipping & handling.
Let's all help Ace Aredub & Pearlie keep America's streets safe for street walkers... uh, I mean people who live on the streets - NO! I mean... uh, did I mention the shipping & handling part?

Tune in next week for the exciting episode - Ace Aredub takes on Front Wheel Drive.

Now, another word from our sponsor....

Word.

Ron

[SVXphile]

Gee Kelli...reading your story reminds me of that Goodyear commercial where the folks just HAVE to get to Bingo, even with the terrible storm going on...
Don

[Ron Mummert]

Originally posted by SVXphile
Gee Kelli...reading your story reminds me of that Goodyear commercial where the folks just HAVE to get to Bingo, even with the terrible storm going on...
Don

I'm just happy to get to BINGO - with or without the sound effects.
...all night to do what used to do all night.
Ron.