How do you convince a kid

[bcpianoman]

. . . that he’s not invincible? And neither are the other people in his car and on the road. I found out through the grapevine that a week ago last Wednesday, my 17 year-old son sped up to 80 MPH along a strait stretch on a rural road, after dark and in the rain.

His driver’s licence has been in my dresser drawer since that time and I haven’t even begun to think about when he’s getting it back. I’ve arranged for him to have a talk with a retired 30-year veteran of the R.C.M.P. (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) who has attended at more than his fair share of fatal accidents. He will be viewing one of the educational tapes about the carnage on the highways resulting from excess speed.

I’ve discussed the matter from every angle I can think of, including:

1. He has no right to endanger the lives and safety of others;
2. If he dies or someone else dies, their loved ones suffer too. I don’t want to experience that visit from the police at 3:00 AM;
3. People, including himself, could suffer debilitating permanent injury such as paralysis;
4. He will lose respect from his piers just as they do not respect young persons who drink and drive. I makes no difference if one is killed as a result of alcohol or speed - either way one is just as dead;
5. Generally, he will gain the reputation of a careless, reckless, stupid individual;
6. A lot of jobs require a clean licence;
7. Civil liability as a result of an accident could bankrupt him and my wife (who is the registered owner of the car that he was driving); and
8. A nice car could be destroyed or damaged;

Are there any other suggestions?

[rallyingrob]

i can pm you a link to a VERY graphic porsche crash involving an 18 year old girl and a concrete toll-booth......

[SVXMAN2001]

bcpianoman, first off i am very glad to hear that your taking a proactive stance towards this whole situation. More often than not it seems that parents these days are so far removed from their child's lives and rarely discpline their children.

Now I am 24 and can relate with your sons actions, he is young and will make mistakes, its inevitable. But they need to be addressed immediately. Now this is what would work in my situation....If your son wants to drive, have him insure the car, and have the car registered in HIS name, that way if anything happens HE is responsible...it is amazing how grown up kids can get when they are the ones solely responsible....having your son responsible for paying insurance, gas, and registration will more than likely have him think twice before he pulls another stupid stunt like that, i know it worked for me! I am not going to be pulling stupid pranks when i used to sacrafice my weekends and evenings just to keep my car on the road!

Of course you'll face some resistance and resentment, but your not out to be your kids best friend but rather instill some values and sense of responsbililty.

This is what worked for me...maybe it could work for your son. Good luck

[mikecg]

Hmmm, my parents did pretty much the same thing for me, but it was from the beginning. I had to by my car, insure it, and pay for my gas. During the school year I was given enough gas to get back and forth to school, and they paid m insurance, because I wasnt working. If the car broke, I either fixed it myself or I rode the bus. I never considered the impact that having to pay for it myself had on me. I just complained that they had plenty of money, but made me pay for it, while my buddies parents had gotten him 3 different cars before he was even able to drive, because he didnt like the car they brought home for him.

[SVXMAN2001]

mike, and do you think that made you drive more carefully? From reading your post i am not sure if your agreeing or disagreeing, haha. All i know is that having had to pay for everything made me appreciate it that much more. I would get so ticked when i'd be riding in my one friend's porsche, of which her daddy got her, i asked her to show me the engine and she opened up the trunk...had no idea what she was driving!

[mikecg]

I definitly appreciated the vehicle more, and cared for it better, but I dont think I really considered my actions as much until I had accually wrecked. Thats why I think some sort of school is required in this case. You cant really understad how easy it is to lose control until you've done it. Like I said, it's more of a lack in his understanding. 80MPH doesnt sound like a big deal, many of us on here do that daily on highways and such, but when you add in the weather, it shows a lack of understanding in how the envirenment can effect handling.

[mikecg]

Hehe, I first read the title and thought it said conceive a child.


1) Break his leg. He'll realize he isnt indestructible. (Just kidding)

2) A driving school that incroperats a wet handling course. His biggest issue isnt that he's stupid, he just doesnt undersand how easily it is to lose control and how hard it is to get it back. A wet course with a high power RWD car will educate him. and the course will also help him learn how to safely control his car. I didnt learn until I was on a dirt road sliding sideways into a tree line. The best way to learn is to exsprience it himself, and the best way to do that is on a closed course. About now up there is a good time for it. (Snow and all)