O/T - Xmas funny

[Landshark]

A Christmas Cake recipe we all must try ...
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> >Ingredients:
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> >1 cup of water
> >1 tsp baking soda
> >1 cup of sugar
> >1 tsp salt
> >1 cup of brown sugar
> >Lemon juice
> >4 Large eggs
> >Assorted Nuts
> >2-8 Bottles Stolychniya Vodka
> >2 cups of dried fruit
> >
> >1) Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka
> >again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
> >2) Repeat step 1.
> >3) Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
> >bowl.
> >4) Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it's best to
> >makesure the vodka is shtill OK. Try another cup .... jusht in cashe...
> >5) Turn off the mixerer.
> >6) Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
> >7) Pick fruit off floor.
> >8) Mix on the turner.
> >9) If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with
> >asdrewscriver.
> >10) Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
> >11) Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
> >12) Check the vodka.
> >13) Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
> >14) Add one table.
> >15) Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
> >16) Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
> >17) Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
> >18) Don't forget to beat off the turner.
> >19) Finally, throw the bowl through the window, and finish the vodka.
> >20) Fall into bed.
> >
> >Cherry Mistmas!!!