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#1
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Neon an Old Lady
??he basis of this by email. Probably very old hat but someone may get a giggle.
NEVER TRUST AN OLD LADY IN A NEON. An old lady driving a yellow Neon with big alloy wing gets pulled over for speeding.. Old Lady: " Is there a problem, Officer ? " Officer: " Ma'am, you were speeding." Old Lady: "Oh, I see." Officer: " Can I see your license please ? " Old Lady: " I'd give it to you but I don't have one." Officer: " Don't have one ? " Old Lady: " Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving." Officer: " I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please ? " Old Lady: "I can't do that." Officer: " Why not ? " Old Lady: " I stole this car this morning." Officer: " Stole it ? " Old Lady: " Yes, and I killed and cut up the owner I hated her ." Officer: " You what ? " Old Lady: " Her body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk with the axe if you want to see." The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car, one is a turbo special Subaru SVX from which a senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: " Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please ! " The woman steps out of her vehicle. Old Lady: " Is there a problem sir ? " Officer 2: " One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." Old Lady: " Murdered the owner ? " Officer 2: " Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car." The woman opens the trunk revealing it to be empty. Officer 2: " Is this your car, ma'am ? " Old Lady: " Yes, here are the registration papers." The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: Ò My officer says that you do not have a driving license.' The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: " Thank you ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car and that you murdered and cut up the owner." Old Lady: " Bet the lying bastard also told you I was speeding."
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Trevor, New Zealand. As a child, on cold mornings I gladly stood in cowpats to warm my bare feet, but I detest bull$hit! |
#2
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..weird...
sort of an interesting game to play with the police if you're an innocent-looking old person.. however i'm not sure if you'd be able to get away with it, what with the cameras that cops have in their cars these days.. -adam |
#3
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The cops in Illinois also seem to have microphones on their stomachs so they're at the right level to record what you say.
That is an old one, but very funny.
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2005 RX-8 Grand Touring 2005 Outback 2002 Mercedes-Benz E320 wagon END OF LINE |
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