Stand-up joke [sort of]

[svxistentialist]

Have not had a chance to post to this new forum, so thought I might kick off with a Tommy Cooper joke

"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'.

And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet please.'"

Joe

Anybody got any good stand-up comedy jokes??

These was a "Cheetos" joke floating around in this forum somewhere?? I'm sure some can fill you in on it!

[svxistentialist]

Thanks John

Couldn't find the Cheetos joke, but here's another one anyway:

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head.

Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out:
'Can I help, sir?'

'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

me: it smells like updog in here..

co-worker: huh??

me: i said, it smells like UPDOG in here

co-worker: what's updog??

me: nothing G, what's up with you?

*ba dump bump*

-adam

[svxistentialist]

OK, OK Adam

Wasssup dog indeed!!

Two fat guys in a bar, one says to the other, 'Your round'

First guy says, "So are you, you fat b*stard"


Boom Boom!!

[Zeppelin]

Originally posted by JLittell
These was a "Cheetos" joke floating around in this forum somewhere?? I'm sure some can fill you in on it!

OooOOoOOo

Don't quit your day jobs!

[SubaSteevo]

Not a stand-up joke, but still funny

An 80 year old man is visiting his doctor when he mentions that his 20 year old wife is pregnant.
The doctor responds, "Let me tell you a story about a man who went hunting. The man had bad vision and he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun as he left the house. Sure enough he finds a bear, aims the umbrella, and "fires." The bear drops dead."
"But that's impossible," says the old man, "someone else must have shot the bear."
"Exactly," says the doctor.

Originally posted by BurgundyBeast
Not a stand-up joke, but still funny

An 80 year old man is visiting his doctor when he mentions that his 20 year old wife is pregnant.
The doctor responds, "Let me tell you a story about a man who went hunting. The man had bad vision and he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun as he left the house. Sure enough he finds a bear, aims the umbrella, and "fires." The bear drops dead."
"But that's impossible," says the old man, "someone else must have shot the bear."
"Exactly," says the doctor.

I get it LOL

[svxistentialist]

Good one, good one.

So I am ringing up my local swimming pool.....

'Is that the local swimming pool?' I ask.

He said "It depends where you're calling from"

[Subafreak]

I can't post any of the ones I know on this site.








Becouse I don't know any.