what da hell is this? - Page 2

Aredubjay · #16 09-17-2002, 09:07 AM

<whispering> Don't let Zeppelin see it. He'll want one on his SVX.

SVXphile · #17 09-17-2002, 09:06 PM

"Tired of people riding your bumper? Install our new "Flame-a-gater" and force those behind you to keep a safe distance! When someone gets within 10ft of your "Flame-a-gater" equipped car, a sensor automatically ignites a jet of gas from a tank hidden in your trunk! Just think of the fun you will have, watching all the excitement in your rearview! Laugh at the sight of radiators boiling over! Giggle as plastic grills melt away before your eyes!
Road rage has never been this much fun!!!! Order now!!!!!

But that's not all.....call in the next 10 minutes, and we will upgrade your "Flame-a-gater" with the optional "OdorBomb" injector system. This amazing device injects one of several obnoxious odors into your "Flame-a-gater" to really drive home the point that the dude behind you is TOO CLOSE!! Choose from "Southern Fried Skunk", "Florida Sunshine Possum", or our all-time favorite.."Steamed Whale Blubber". You and your passengers will howl with delight when you catch sight of your tailgater puking his guts out over the Armco!!!! Don't delay...our operators are standing by.....CALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Don

Ron Mummert · #18 09-17-2002, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVXphile
"Tired of people riding your bumper? Install our new "Flame-a-gater" and force those behind you to keep a safe distance! When someone gets within 10ft of your "Flame-a-gater" equipped car, a sensor automatically ignites a jet of gas from a tank hidden in your trunk! Just think of the fun you will have, watching all the excitement in your rearview! Laugh at the sight of radiators boiling over! Giggle as plastic grills melt away before your eyes!
Road rage has never been this much fun!!!! Order now!!!!!

But that's not all.....call in the next 10 minutes, and we will upgrade your "Flame-a-gater" with the optional "OdorBomb" injector system. This amazing device injects one of several obnoxious odors into your "Flame-a-gater" to really drive home the point that the dude behind you is TOO CLOSE!! Choose from "Southern Fried Skunk", "Florida Sunshine Possum", or our all-time favorite.."Steamed Whale Blubber". You and your passengers will howl with delight when you catch sight of your tailgater puking his guts out over the Armco!!!! Don't delay...our operators are standing by.....CALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Don - Could I interest you in an executive position in my world renowned emporium, Ripimoff Industries, LLC? Have I got the golden parachute for YOU!! Contact In-Ron Division, 666 Yakfur Avenue, Suite 16, Kabul, Afghanistan. Leave message. I'll get back to you.

Ron

Don

Speedklix · #19 09-17-2002, 11:42 PM

actually they do sell flame thrower exhaust kits for about $90 (we would need two for the svx) it would be interesting to see what the guy tailgating you does when dual flames shoot out of your exhaust and ignite his front tires...

Landshark · #20 09-18-2002, 04:35 AM

that's no joke! i saw the kit in a catalog. i think its for wannabe racecar drivers, but i'd like it for tailgaters.
"whoops! did you see that? somethin' must be wrong with my engine. sorry i melted your headlights."

Aredubjay · #21 09-18-2002, 08:26 AM

When I was driving my Spitfire, people tended not to notice me, or, just didn't think I was driving a "real car." I toyed with the idea of mounting a cannon that launched eggs with conpressed air, for those drivers who pulled out in front of me. Also wanted to mount a 2 million candlepower lilght in the back window for the tailgating semis.

svx1999 · #22 09-18-2002, 12:01 PM

HEEE HEEE HEEE
Funny.. I once had the same idea for tail gators as this is one of my pet peeves. Cant' stand it..
I usually pop the sun roof open and Let Cigs ding off their Windsheild. IT's funny to see them try and doge them.. Some get the point. OThers however Keep on and ON...
Eggs WOuld be good... I sorta feel I"m pushing some leagal limits at that point. Cig butts don't do any damage.

Randy I always wanted a scrolling LIght sign in the back window that Reads.. If you can read this, your TOO damn close.

After all if you can hit their windsheild with a Ciggy Butt, I would say they are Way too close. Cigg butts tend to fly off... For those really tough ones I should get a Tube of Tennis balls... Not actually throw any of them but just threaten to.

svx1999

svxjoe · #23 09-18-2002, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SVXphile
"Tired of people riding your bumper? Install our new "Flame-a-gater" and force those behind you to keep a safe distance! When someone gets within 10ft of your "Flame-a-gater" equipped car, a sensor automatically ignites a jet of gas from a tank hidden in your trunk! Just think of the fun you will have, watching all the excitement in your rearview! Laugh at the sight of radiators boiling over! Giggle as plastic grills melt away before your eyes!
Road rage has never been this much fun!!!! Order now!!!!!

But that's not all.....call in the next 10 minutes, and we will upgrade your "Flame-a-gater" with the optional "OdorBomb" injector system. This amazing device injects one of several obnoxious odors into your "Flame-a-gater" to really drive home the point that the dude behind you is TOO CLOSE!! Choose from "Southern Fried Skunk", "Florida Sunshine Possum", or our all-time favorite.."Steamed Whale Blubber". You and your passengers will howl with delight when you catch sight of your tailgater puking his guts out over the Armco!!!! Don't delay...our operators are standing by.....CALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Don

Very Very Funny Don! You are almost genius.... I've even showed this to my brother. I'm still laughing.

Landshark · #24 09-18-2002, 01:26 PM

that's good - i never tried the butts! i like to tap the brakes, so they see my brake lights and slam theirs on.

Aredubjay · #25 09-18-2002, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Landshark
that's good - i never tried the butts! i like to tap the brakes, so they see my brake lights and slam theirs on.

Since I drive with my lights on in the SVX, this wouldn't work. When I drove my 64 Fairlane, to get the tailgaters off my tail, I'd simply turn on my headlights, which, in turn, turned on my tail lights, which the tailgater assumed were brake lights and would slam on his brakes. When they did that, I'd floor it.

(Caution: DOES NOT WORK AT NIGHT)

#26 09-18-2002, 01:44 PM

Heh. Know what I'd do in my neon? Well, being the spritely littel car it is, I'd just yank the ebrake. Yep. I wouldn't YANK IT UP ALL THE WAY, taht'd lock my rear tires and I'd probably spin out and die. But man.... you guys should definitely try that sometime. See, the ebrake works your rear brakes just fine, but it DOESNT, however, use your brake lights. So they're tailgating being jerks and all of the sudden your car shoots back at them. MAN, they freak out. I've done that to SUVS, Semis, you name it.

I swear some of the guys had to change their pants.

Disclaimer: I've never done this while hogging the fast lane. In fact, the ONLY time I've done this is when there's someone in front of me and I can't go any faster. I'm an EXTREMELY courteous driver so if I see someone coming up on me, I get out the way and let them pass. I also ALWAYS drive in the rightmost lane. It pisses me off to see people DRIVING in the fast lane, or even in hte middle lane. Everyone should drive in the right lane. If you need to pass, use the middle lane. If you need to pass the passers, use the left lane. Why is this so complicated for some people!?!?!?!

- Ca$h

SHISVX · #27 09-18-2002, 01:50 PM

i just rigged my backwindshield wiper fluid dispenser thingy so that it "pees" on the front of the car behind me....that is funny to watch the reaction

Kelli

(wiz wiz)

DavieGravy · #28 09-18-2002, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by $VX
Heh. Know what I'd do in my neon? Well, being the spritely littel car it is, I'd just yank the ebrake. Yep. I wouldn't YANK IT UP ALL THE WAY, taht'd lock my rear tires and I'd probably spin out and die. But man.... you guys should definitely try that sometime. See, the ebrake works your rear brakes just fine, but it DOESNT, however, use your brake lights. So they're tailgating being jerks and all of the sudden your car shoots back at them. MAN, they freak out. I've done that to SUVS, Semis, you name it. I swear some of the guys had to change their pants.

Disclaimer: I've never done this while hogging the fast lane. In fact, the ONLY time I've done this is when there's someone in front of me and I can't go any faster. I'm an EXTREMELY courteous driver so if I see someone coming up on me, I get out the way and let them pass. I also ALWAYS drive in the rightmost lane. It pisses me off to see people DRIVING in the fast lane, or even in hte middle lane. Everyone should drive in the right lane. If you need to pass, use the middle lane. If you need to pass the passers, use the left lane. Why is this so complicated for some
people!?!?!?!

- Ca$h

I agree with you to a certain extent. Although in moderately populated areas such as Colorado, most people drive in the slow lane at 15 MPH under the speed limit, while tail-gating each other. This makes it imposible not to cruise in the fast lane unless you feel like driving slow all the time. If most people would actually do the speed limit, proper driving would be possible.
I really miss the days of shining my 500,000 candle-watt powered spot light through the windsheilds of tail-gaters. And it's all thanks to my freakin cigarette lighter jack not working. Arg!!!

Red SVX 92 · #29 09-18-2002, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DavieGravy
If most people would actually do the speed limit, proper driving would be possible.

Wait... you mean there's places where people actually drive BELOW the speed limit?!

Here in California, you get honked at if you drive slower than the flow of traffic, and especially if you drive below the speed limit. I remember, my aunt had just moved to California, and was getting used to driving here. After driving for a day or two, she started complaining about how people here are so rude, because she would drive 5 mph below the speed limit, and everyone behind her would be honking and trying to cut her off. She had thought that since the speed limit was 35 mph, that everyone made sure to drive below that. When I heard that story, my jaw just dropped, and I started laughing hysterically at my poor aunt. Everybody here drives about 5-10 mph faster than the speed limit.

SVXphile · #30 09-18-2002, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aredubjay
When I was driving my Spitfire, people tended not to notice me, or, just didn't think I was driving a "real car." I toyed with the idea of mounting a cannon that launched eggs with conpressed air, for those drivers who pulled out in front of me. Also wanted to mount a 2 million candlepower lilght in the back window for the tailgating semis.

Amazing. I had similar fantasies, only it was my A/H Sprite, and MG Midget, before the Spit...

One involved bright lights behind me. Similar to your idea Randy, a bank of old Lucas "Flamethrowers" would rise from the trunk on a sissor jack, and proceed to burn all the paint from the offending tailgaters hood....

The other was the result of a real situation where a guy raced up to me in heavy traffic and laid on his horn. Scaring me half to death, I pulled over, he went ahead....right into a pack of bumper-to-bumper traffic. I couldn't resist putting the horn to him....the look of his eyes in the rearview was worth it! Anyway, the horn fantasy is to mount the horns from a CSX diesel on a similar sissor jack arrangement. Either through a port in the hood, or the trunk lid raising, the horns would elevate....the compressor would build up pressure, and BBBBRRRRRAAAAAKKKKK! I would watch the twirps hood (or trunk lid) peel back with decibel precision.

Like you, I always thought we drivers of little cars needed some BIG help.....

Don