[Ron Mummert]

OK, sorta O/T, but it's a slow newsday.
My weekend warrior, the '88 mopar mini-van is being naughty.
It pretty much sits on weekdays, & is used on weekends when the batmobile is resting in the batcave.

Need vittles. Time to go grocery shopping. I go to start it. Nothing.
Dead silence. OK, I've had this happen before. It's usually the battery, or the battery cables crudded up. I pop the hood. The underhood light's bright. YES- IT HAS ONE OF THESE!!! Huh? Light's bright? I go back to driver's seat & turn on headlights. BRIGHT! Turn on A/C fan - runs! But - still no crank or click when key turned. I play with tranny lever - try neutral - still nothing. Turn signals, wipers & radio no workee. Hazard lights work. Interior lights bright.

So - I deduce it ain't the two year old K-Mart Penske battery. I crack open the manual, page 112. There's a relay on the fuse panel for the ignition switch & the ignition key courtesy light. The courtesy light IS working. Hmmm. I go back under hood. There's a row of four little 1"x 2" silver rectangularish "relays" mounted in a row inside the fender. I remember having one of these replaced a while back due to "starting problem". I beat on all of them with a screwdriver. Try to start again. Ziltch. Any ideas? I'm trying to avoid a 12 mile tow to "Homer" who's gonna probably tell me a got another bad relay. Go ahead - make my day!

Thanks, Ron.

PS - I used the SVX to go buy groceries. She's not accustomed to being used this way. Please help.