[angrydan]

Woohoo! I think I solved the problem and it didn't cost me a penny. Just for the sake of exhausting every last basic option, I disconnected both terminals from the battery. I got a rag and thoroughly wiped down the battery terminals, the connectors, and pretty much anything else that was making contact with the battery. I was surprised at how much grime and grease came off of them! Then, I reattached the cables and made them as tight as possible. Suddenly, the dome light seems a little brighter, the power seat belts move, and the car starts! I drove it around, shut it down, and started it right back up. (something I couldn't do before). I tested this a few more times and got a start each try. The real test will be tomorrow after it has sat for 8 or so hours. For once, I think the solution really was that simple!