I only made fun of your Peachy wine cooler, because I prefer the Strawberry Daquiri ones.
I once heard this Gay comedian talking about the irony of his mom catching him playing with barbie dolls and getting all upset, then, bringing him these muscle bound male action figures to play with. I'd say , stick with the Barbie, bud.
Otherwise, I don't know if I want you watching my "back."
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