ACURA - Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
BUICK - Bought Understanding It Can't Kickbutt
CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
CITROEN - Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters (for you, Dayle
)
DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
FIAT - Fix It Again, Tony
FORD - Fireball On Rear Denting
FORD - Fag's Only Real Desire
HONDA - How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
JAGUAR - Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs
JEEP - Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
MERCEDES - Money Envy Reliably Causes Every Derogatory Expletive to Surface
MITSUBISHI - May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
MOPAR - Mostly Old Parts And Rust
MUSTANG - Massively Ugly Sh*tpile That's Always No Good
OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em
SATURN - Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
TOYOTA - Transportation Of Young Or Tasteless Airheads
Johnny