I had a rather ill-tempered uncle when I was a child. He has long since departed this earth. If you asked him, "Wouldn't you like to have a (whatever it was), like that?" If he didn't particularly like the product, he'd reply (expletives deleted), "Naw, I'd need two of 'em. One to <crap> on and the other to wipe my <butt> with."
If I had a little less couth, I'd use that saying to respond. But, being the gentleman I am, I'd never say anything like that. I would however, imply that I'm using such a saying, by quoting it from my dearly departed ill-tempered uncle.
