[Noir]

Originally Posted by UberRoo

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<more crickets>







Cat: The other white meat.

I've never heard of a rat control program that successfully utilized cats. I've heard of many, many failed ventures of that sort however. Cats have many strong instincts, and one of them is to avoid anything that might be construed as productive. The primary objective of a cat is to be a waste of skin. They can sense what your needs and desires are, and they will dedicate themselves to nothing short of complete non-fulfillment of those things they could otherwise achieve. They will kill anything harmless and leave the mess where it will either stink, or where you will step in it. Mind you, they won't eat what they kill, (unless it will make them sick on the carpet,) but they are competent hunters and will use their talents to show you how much disdain they have for your goals. They do this by not killing anything you might want them to kill.

If you have a cat for the purpose of pest control, the best way to cut your losses is to make violin strings. They don't barbecue very well because of the high fat content. Cats are actually more than 100% fat. One cat contains more fat than all the "food" served by the McDonalds' corporation worldwide in 24 hours. The fur is simply an illusion to make them appear as though there was a rational explanation for the fat density. Scientists studying dark matter are studying cats as a possible explanation for the unaccounted mass in the universe. The upside to the high fat content and excessive skin is that you can just throw 'em in the microwave and it's a lot like deep fat frying them. If you're worried about cholesterol or hardened arteries, I'd advise against eating one. Cat fat will turn your arteries into titanium and your blood into crude oil.</BS>