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I don't know about the misses 1st/2nd thing, but the thud going into reverse is likely to be the rear transmission mount has failed. The normal failure mode is for the rubber to separate from the metal part of the mount - leaves the rear end of the unit free to flop around, and putting it in reverse causes the torque applied to be in a "lift" direction so it bounces up and down. Most of this post used terms not quite accurately applied, but hopefully you got the idea.
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