Your symptoms may not be caused by mechanical failure in either the gearbox or the extension housing - it may just be an electrical or hydraulic problem that's preventing an otherwise healthy tranny from performing properly.
If that's the case, then you need to get it repaired ASAP before this fault causes mechanical damage to your transmission.
Either way, that guy was wrong - the front wheels should not slip a significant amount before the rears engage. That's not even safe in some conditions - it can cause the back end to step out suddenly on snow.
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