[NikFu S.]

Originally Posted by iizbeastie

Another commonality...... same as mine.

I also use words like "commonality". Uncanny.

I really don't understand why it's always 'intervention'. Why can't it simply be help out? Not necessarily financially or babysitting, but simple emotional support? Isn't that what your family is supposed to be for? Just being there?

I advised my mom to not "just be there". If you knew this girl you would know that it will merely enable her to think she is doing nothing wrong. We have been "being there" her entire life, spoiling her rotten. Her dad gave her a truck he said he would give her upon completion of high school. He is employing her. He's spent a great deal of money on secondary education that she practically ignored. The girl needs to learn what it's like to be in trouble, otherwise she will never be able to anticipate it.
I have tried to help her, honestly I have. She is just resistant. I gave up.
She has no idea how to raise a child and she is not willing to learn in the interim.
I was her favorite person at one point, (back when I was an angry wannabe UFC fighter actually), now it seems she doesn't care about what any of us has to say.
I'm hedging my bets on the slim chance that if she is anything like us, she will come around on her own given time to figure things out. It took me until I was 22. If she doesn't get it in a few years she never will.

In case my point isn't clear which is likely due to my rambling, to summarize, we can't help because she doesn't want help and is in her own words, stupid.

This is going into why individuals shouldn't have kids. Not teens, individuals. You mark many traits of people who are not destined to be good parents, they can be found in any age range... look at Willie Nelson....

My point was directly aimed at the lack of emotional growth teenagers have compared to people 10 years older or more. That is the source of increased risk from which complications can arise.
My opinions on the topic are nothing more than a risk assessment based on personal experience. Lower age, higher risk, until you hit the point where senility becomes an issue..

That may be an opinion but "mom" will always have an influence on you. Like it or not, if you know who she is, she is part of your life.

I don't recall stating the contrary.

So giving her a Yukon is ok but that isn't helping out? That's all they can do? What is wrong with getting help where or if you can? I'd say it's merely being resourceful.

The Yukon is a very luxurious vehicle for a teenager who was recently in trouble, "moved out" at 17, had a child out of wedlock in a strongly Catholic household, and hasn't even graduated high school. She was rewarded for being rebellious.
She isn't just "getting help where she can". She is being lazy and shirking responsibilities onto others, and her family is enabling her. You should hear them complain about it and say the things I am saying (often in a language I can't comprehend and at a high decibel level) while doing the opposite of what they believe.
Let me also fill you in that she had the option of staying at her parents house and be spoiled there for free, if she wanted to. She chose to go "live on her own", just like my sister.

And why is it we all assume the worst? Between the noted and the exceptions, no one knows which you will be prior to pregnancy so why do we assume, by the time the pregnancy test shows positive, that the fecal matter has collided with the rotary air displacement device?

Doesn't the saying go, "assume the worst and hope for the best" (or something)? That's a safe mantra to live by.