[Ron Mummert]

Originally posted by SVXphile
I am stunned...STUNNED...that men of Larry III's and Ron's upbringing would slander...I SAY SLANDER, SON!....my beautiful adopted state. "Deliverance" wasn't filmed in West Virginia! Jed Clampett was from ARKANSAS! (take in air) We have had shoes as long as we have had deer and cows! My plumbing is INDOORS! so is my TOILET!!! (gasp) I have no dogs on the porch, a shootin iron over the mantle, or a still hidden in the woods! The Hatfields and McCoys were PUSSYCATS compared to big city gang wars! (pause for a breath) And another thing....WE EAT OUR FOOD CORRECTLY WITH THE PROPER UTINSELS!
(GASP) We take baths regularly and use deodorant! I have never climbed the local water tower to defend my sisters honor, and when I moved into my home I didn't ask my relatives to come over and help me take the WHEELS OFF!!!!! (pant) (suck air)
And we provide the EAST with timber for their houses and furniture and coal to run their mills and light their homes! (oxygen mask) So if you don't want to soil your reputation by coming to our wild, wonderful state....then...then....well I just hope you enjoy whatever state you're in!!! (collapses...out of breath)

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Gee weeds, I need some pills! Jeany, hitch up Daisy Bell to the wagon...we gotta go to Doc Pritchart for some more heart pills. What?.....yeah, we'll stop at the fancy shop so'ins you kin git some calico fer that dress ya been a'wantin.....(dern fussy female!)
Gots to remember to git a posty card to send to them thar Larry and Ron people. I'll send 'um a card of our purty movin picture the-ater with them e-lec-trical lights a'flashing on the front! That'l show 'um that we's got some CIV-IL-A-ZA-SHUN up hare in the mountains!
Dern city-slickers thinkin they knows it all.....
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Gee Don, please don't think I'd EVER disparage the home state of one of our club's members. In fact, I understand that your state has produced some of the greatest inventors of our time. That's right, I mean how many of us know that the toothbrush was patented in 1803 by a native of Charlestown? Of course, if it had been invented in California, we'd call it the teethbrush, but let's give credit where credit's due.
Correctly politically yours, Tsu.
Don