[NikFu S.]

O lawd, namedrawp.

Let me tell you something, Cheif, no Nissan XTerra can make the grade in my book. I don't care if it is Army olive "think-its-an-M1Abrams" green.
You see those mountains? Those mountains are what separates XTerras from my neighborhood. Do you see my neighborhood? No. That's because it's on the wrong muthafunkin side. This wannaSUBe likes to play in grass so it doesn't scratch it's Nancy Pelosi paint job.
I don't even know who Nancy Pelosi is, but I'm sure this vehicle is something she would drive, because it looks like a real nancy machine. This fancy hippo on wheels is a real nancy attractor.
Speaking of a tractor, you ever driven a Caterpillar to work? I bet you haven't, because where would you put your grande latte? This thing doesn't have cup holders. This thing doesn't have a heater. Matter of fact this thing doesn't have an external enclosure so the only thing between you and the extreme Arctic winter is a 15 year old Columbia jacket and a slathering of pure manlyness, sewn in as a liner using your own bear-like body hair.

Doors and windows? Get that **** out of here. The only protection we need is a beefy roll cage to keep us from denting the pavement as we pull sweet high G maneuvers in bulldozers and scrapers and ****, I dunno.