Jeff,
It will be interesting to see how the counseling goes for the two of you. And isn't it great how many friends you have here? Nothing to be ashamed of, leaking your problems out to the world. A wise man seeks the counsel of ALL his friends. The shame would be to walk alone without any support.
The bottom line is this: You seem to be ready, willing and able to do whatever it takes to have a better marriage and family. The question is, Is she READY, WILLING and ABLE? You can't do it for her. She must be ready, she must be willing and she must be able. Otherwise, you are in for endless heartache.
And honestly, a woman ready to give up her house, cars and kids over the guilt of a kiss? I'm not really sure about that. Perhaps the guilt of giving her heart [and soul] to another without a desire to turn back to her husband or family, well that I could understand.
So, your next move is based on the truth in her heart. The loving thing for you to do for her and for the girls may be to find her another place to live. Also, a female attorney told me once that a surprizingly large number of people that file for divorce don't go through with it. The reality of the situation strikes deep. It may be in your best interest to file for divorce. It would show that even though this is not what you want, you respect her wish to be free, if that is her desire. This is a bit more serious than an appointment for counseling, but may help you to resolve the situation one way or the other.
I realize that this won't be fun or easy. I faced this a couple years ago. At the time, I felt that the day I served my wife papers was the best and the worst day of my life. Interesting, from today's perspective, that observation brings a big smile, not a frown. Life is very good. It was a good day indeed.
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Originally Posted by Darksied-X
I just got thinking about something Bill (SVXRide) had said to me in an earlier post: write her a letter expressing your feelings, maybe that will allow her to see things in a different light. Well, unfortunately, I'm not really a very good writer. But, I'm thinking maybe I am, and maybe I already have that letter complete.
I'm highly contemplating printing off this entire thread and leaving it for her to read. It has everything I could possibly put in a letter, plus stuff that you all have made me think about that I would probably never remember for a letter. Plus, maybe some of your responses will get her thinking as it has done for me.
What does everyone think about this? Is it a good idea, or am I only asking for more trouble?
And before anyone says it, yes, some people would be upset to know that all they're problems have been leaked out for the world to see. But she already knows about this thread, and knows that your all important friends to me, and that you all helped me a great deal when I first started this thread.
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