Quote:
|
Originally Posted by SVXRide
Jeff,
First off, it took a lot of guts to post what you just did.
Second, there are a couple of questions that you might want to consider before moving forward:
1. do you - in your heart - love your wife?
2. do you - in your heart - trust your wife?
3. does your wife share your values about raising your kids?
4. does your wife's behavior over the last year reflect the way she has behaved over all the years you've known here or does it reflect a significant change?
Hang in there!
-Bill
|
Thanks. The reason I posted is, like I said, to let evenyone know whats going on, and if my problems can help anyone else, then it will be at least some bright spot on the situation. To answer your questions:
1. Yes, deeply. But, not like I used to. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love her that way again.
2. I'd like to say yes, but deep down, no. Everytime I asked her if she had anything to tell me, she always said no, with the same look on her face. The last time she even swore on our children. Come to find out, she had her fingers crossed. And since I've known about him, ever time I asked if there was anytime more, if she ever slept with him, she said no with the same look on her face. There of course ended up being more (she did end up telling me she has kissed him a few times but nothing any further), so I can't help thinking now that there's still more. And I still can't get over that my good sumaritan specifically said "she's sleeping with him". Everytime I am alone, or try to think, I have her voice screaming in the back of my head. She obviously knew more than I did, so if she didn't know for sure, then why didn't she say "she's seeing someone else", or anything besides "sleeping with him". I just have no reson not to trust her, and no reason to trust my wife.
3. Yes and no. She does share the same moral values, so she says, but she's been the one that hasn't been there for us, any of us, for a long time.
4. Absolutely not. All this first started late last fall, and not matter what I've tried to do, it's only gotten worse. Beofre that, even though we had our problems, she was still a very loving wife. Honestly, the only thing I can relate it to is a mid life crisis.