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You wife works for a mortgage company. That should mean she's good with numbers. Perhaps you could give her a refresher course on how a $4000 SVX with it's timeless and simultaneously futuristic styling is a less horrible way to spend money than on the wardrobe of the week which is probably already out of style in the neighboring time zone.
Honestly, you're probably SOL on this one. My knowledge of women is actually less than zero. Much like anti-matter, which somehow exists despite the fact that nobody knows how it can be 'anti', my IQ is actually reduced by everything I know about women. I think they can hear the sucking sound my brain makes when I try to figure out what's going on.
Somehow this seems relevant:
Reasons Why Cars Are Better Than Women:
Reason 30: Car's curves never sag.
Reason 29: Cars don't get pregnant.
Reason 28: You can drive a car any time of the month.
Reason 27: Cars don't have parents.
Reason 26: Cars don't whine unless something is really wrong.
Reason 25: You can kick your car to wake it up.
Reason 24: You can share your car with your friends.
Reason 23: If your car makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
Reason 22: If your car smokes, you can do something about it.
Reason 21: Cars don't care about how many other cars you have driven.
Reason 20: Cars don't mind if you look at other cars, or if you buy car magazines.
Reason 19: If your car is too loose, you can tighten it.
Reason 18: If your car is mis-aligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
Reason 17: You can have a beer while driving your car.
Reason 16: You can have a black car and show it to your parents.
Reason 15: You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your car.
Reason 14: You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your car.
Reason 13: You don't have to convince your car that you're a driver and that you think that cars are equals.
Reason 12: If you say bad things to your car, you don't have to apologize before you can drive it again.
Reason 11: You can drive a car as long as you want.
Reason 10: Your parents don't remain in touch with your old car after you dump it.
Reason 9: Cars always feel like going for a drive.
Reason 8: Cars don't insult you if you are a bad driver.
Reason 7: Your car never wants a night out alone with the other cars.
Reason 6: Cars don't care if you are late.
Reason 5: You don't have to take a shower before driving your car.
Reason 4: It's always ok to use tie downs on your car.
Reason 3: If your car doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
Reason 2: You don't have to buy your car flowers and candy to drive it.
Reason 1: You can't get diseases from a car you don't know very well.
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