ODE To My Missing Part
As I sit here missing her, and recalling how special she made me feel, tears brimming in my eyes, I wonder…….. Am I completely nuts?
Over the years prior to my possessing her, I remember the desire I felt every time I saw one of her sisters gliding by, and I wonder…. How could I feel this way about a machine?
We were closely related for years before she came to me in 2004, already 11 years of age, from another loved one who wished to keep her close, and safe, and share her beauty, and sense of something “special” with me.
I can close my eyes and be there in her protective cocoon, whistling along at 110 down the long straights of my favorite remote hiway, and confidently pushing her through the hairpins and sweepers and whoopties…..and here come the tears again.
Now, looking over and over at the images of her demise, I realize exactly how much a part of me she had become, and again I wonder……Am I completely insane?
She was “just a car”, and “she can be replaced” they say, and I wonder….Then why do I feel I’m missing a part of me? At nearly 60 years of age, how could I have let her under my skin, and into my heart in such a way? And I begin to see the truly unique character of this machine, and why I could spend hours reading and conversing with complete strangers about her. Perusing page after page of eBay ads looking for some broken geegaw or other, and suddenly…….. I find myself in a quandary….What to do now?
Would I be able to go through this melding process again, with one of her sister-cars? Do I want to? The grief and pain I feel at her passing makes me wonder. Could it ever be the same, when, despite my careful driving, some twist of fate could again rob me, of, not “just a car”…..but a very special part of me ?
As you may have guessed by now, my beautiful car will never again whistle down my favorite back roads with me at the wheel. She passed away yesterday, 7/24/2008, 163,000 miles and change on the ODO. May she Rest in Peace, wherever it is special vehicles of her ilk find peace.
It was very sad to see her sitting there demolished, steam rising, fluids dripping, while blood ran down my leg into my shoe. This "senior citizen" of the female persuasion, turned across my path at approx 35 mph, at a 45 degree angle about 30-40 feet in front of me, as I was doing 45-50 mph. We collided nearly head on, as I believe I jerked the steering to the right milli-seconds b4 impact. I had no time to even touch the brakes. Both cars, hers an S-10 pickup were totaled. She went across the center console, fracturing her pelvis, while I hit the drivers door, breaking one rib on the arm-rest, I believe. I lost consciousness on impact, coming around to see the airbag deflated on my steering wheel, and hopping mad at the asshat that just wrecked my wonderful car. Climbing out the passenger side door, in shock, I now realize, I marched toward her car, about 50 ft away to give her a piece of my mind. I found she was lying across the center console, moaning incoherently, and started to realize just how lucky I was. About then the medics and SFD showed up and sat me down, back-boarded/collared me, etc, and off to the Trauma center we went. I don't recall seeing a seatbelt on her. A nurse at the trauma center later passed on a sincere apology from her to me, saying she was sorry, and just didn't SEE ME!!! I'm still angry, but mostly at the situation, and loss of my beautiful car. I've thanked the Lord numerous times for the fact she wasn't driving a larger vehicle, as the results could have been far different. My Safety Vehicle Experimental (SVX) came out the "winner" in this contest, and although lucky to be alive, I’m the loser.
Pics of my Baby
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/h...1/DSC05906.jpg
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/h...1/DSC05904.jpg
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/h...1/DSC05905.jpg