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I was in over my head and starting to feel ingratiatingly nauseated. Then, from the bottom of the pit full of abandoned VCRs, a blue feathered elephant leaped forth and let loose a loud ear piercing belch that almost hurt. I immediately ran for the elephant-killing photon gun. Shot and missed. I should try backing over it with my two, no! five SVX'es. But the transmissions have never been drained of the box O vineo that i put in while steenkin' drunk. Then, an obnoxious SVX Network Administrator, while breaking wind, said "Hi there!"
I'm not a smelly fellow! I just love to eat beans! However, my colon is very, very full of yellow paste car wax.
Out shot yellow SVXes!! Oh, my they are everywhere! What should I KILL them with?!?!
Zebra Striped Underwear! But they are still on his girlfriend's moms dresser. Forsooth, he said!
"Sore-tooth?" she replied in a french, cowardly, trembling voice, as a bead of hot wax ran down her slowly melting leg. NO!, You dip me in cheese before you toast me in there!
"That's not a yellow striped SVX" chirped the virgin with a smile, "that is a Oscar Meyer Wiener Dog you know, the foot long kind that barks like a large Stebro exhaust."
"But that is not an SVX so..."
The elephant charged his cordless drill and chucked up his largest cutter. "I'm gonna ventilate, no wait I, should ask you for hood scoops, hooked up mirrors and a raw deep-throated stebro exhaust."
"Cool Dawg! Cool Furry Dawg" Dig these big mirrors fo $79.9999.
My next mod, deer deflector hoods, with the big red frickin laser beams to destroy Neons, or make them turn upside down, (as if you could). But hey, it's fun to dream isn't it. Now that you love men in tights, the movie, you must love to roam forests with only a lit fuzzy dice ornament and blinking red laser pointer.
Then I went up and over a box-o-chivas we bought yesterday at the bequest of a well dressed Subaru parts counterman. He was the SVX forum Moderator. He ran over to the little cowardly french virgin with hairy armpits and began to barf on his escaine penny loafers with out a second thought, HOLY FAUX SUEDE BATMAN!!
He then began to tap dance first table he saw. "Get off my reverse guages!" he thought but, held back from up-chucking on the bright green umbrella from his drink.
"Would you believe I just bit the end off my big cigar, and it was bright yellow inside. I thought it would not glow, but when I put a match near it... BOOM!!! It went up in smoke. Cheech who's Randy's cousin, brother-in-law and uncle, Gave everyone an inflatable animal for target practice with rubberbands and paperclips.
SNAP! ZING! KaPOW! went Randy's hamstring while trying to collect his marbles. I found some buffalo in my blue turtle wax I rub myself with it to make my zebra thong shine! It FEELS so damn itchy after a shave that I can't keep both hands out of my soup bowl when it is empty.
You would never kiss my pimply pig, you buffoon. How about licking my bright yellow postage stamp and placing it on my big shiny forehead! Then you can call over a fat pimp, to kiss my brand new tires, or even, tyres!!
I shaved my head and my hand slipped off chopping my ear-phones in half! Horse manure plopped right on my new beige floormats, while buggers flung everywhere like erotic sandpaper skin massages on my dash-dot-dot-dash. It was crazy!
Just as I waxed the SVX, bird poop landed through the moonroof on the beautiful female campanion I had just finished explaining the most up to date TSB's to. She nearly lost her dentures when she went down town to offer her sucking skills to the circus midgets, with potatoes in various unseen places. She followed a legion of highly-trained chimps to the top of a volcano that was beltching fire. When she threw off her lace trimmed bulletproof vest, (the one which coifed her cans of ice cold FatBastard stool sample) her gigantic purple and yellow bloomers caught an updraft and we saw her naughty bits. My oh my!
After that I sat down to a great big serving of bearded dragon nuggets. "MMmMMmMmmm," moaned a hippopotamus. What a wonderful sack of jiggly jelly fish. Maybe I can even up the odds by dancing a jig while you jog and juggle? "Interesting," retorted the bald man from the moist innards of a Buffalo chicken sandwich. Why that's what I wanted to do once my hair grew back from the time I ate some stinky durian fruit, which threw my bowels into an outrage.
I suddenly remembered that I never changed my underpants in over three or four weeks. Sometimes I gag on the smell of decay in a leftover piece of stinky goat cheese, which I carry between my toes just in case my girlfriend hasn't perfumed her skunk. Believe me, it is not a pretty sight when Ted Koppel comes knocking asking for a naked photo of Larry Kings midsection, just so he can "analyze it."
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