[JaySVX]

I matured at an early age. First job at the family restaurant at 12, worked pretty much full time through the summers, and close to full time during the school year. I was a Co-Op student through high school, where I attended school 2 days a week and worked 3, through a work release program. I had what I thought was a decent job, at a major pharmaceutical company. I made what I thought was decent money, around 20k/yr, which at that point was getting me by rather well.

Then I met a girl. We later found out that she was pregnant. I was not the father, it was from before I was around. Still, I stayed. We married, and I joined the service, as I had been planning to do before we got together, as the market was questionable, and I could use the money for college. Well, she got pregnant again, and our second daughter was born.

What I didn't realize, was while I was a bit more mature than most my age, she was not. I worked 12-16hr days and she stayed home with the kids. She did not cook, clean, do any laundry, or pretty much anything other than play video games and socialize with the neighbors. I'd get home after my day, and cook, clean, do laundry, etc. Needless to say, this got old. We were not that well off financially, for 2 kids. 2 adults, sure, no problem. Kids, though, are pretty pricey, and any idiot who says otherwise is in for a rude awakening.

Sure, your job at walmart with 3 years there may be paying more than minimum wage, but what about doctors visits? Dental visits? Those kids had better be insured. If you think it's unnecessary, you're armed with your children's Tylenol and children's cough syrup, you don't deserve to be a parent, and I feel sorry for your kids. Age 18-25 are the best years of your life, when you have some extra money, making decent wages, and can go out and have fun and party. I didn't do that, I raised 2 kids. I'm 25 now, I'm divorced, and I have custody of my 2 kids, one in kindergarten and one in pre-school.

I wake every morning, take them to the daycare where they catch the bus later on, and go to work. On my way home, I pick them up, go home, make dinner, ask about their day, do homework, bathe them, and put them to bed. Then, I have an hour or so to myself before I go to bed to repeat the process. I have given up on my life, and am living for their lives, to make them better. Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we go out to eat, or do different things together. In short, they come first. Kids 18-25 are typically not willing to ignore their own social lives and take on the responsibilities of kids.

I make a fair salary, higher than most my age, and certainly higher than pretty much all at 18. I have full benefits package, paid vacation, flex time, just about anything you can ask for as far as employment goes. My health care and dental is to ensure my kids are properly cared for if they are ill, my vacation time is for when my kids are sick and can't go for daycare, my flex time allows me to take my kids to appointments during the day without having to use a vacation day, floating holiday, paid time off, or sick day. I have things pretty well set. Am I qualified to be a parent? No.

More money would mean a better place to live, more vacation time would mean being able to take my kids on the vacations they deserve, better benefits would save money to provide both of those things. When would I have those things? About by the time I'm 30. At that point I'd be at a good salary that single income could provide all I want for my kids, instead of now making sure they get everything they need, and barely half of what I want for them.

The phrase "But I don't want to spoil my kid." is a cop-out. Every parent wants to spoil their kids, give them the best, that which they had, plus some extra on top. Saying otherwise is just something to make you feel better about that which you fail at providing. "Oh my parents will help." Another bull**** line. They did their time. That's just a way of trying to take that which you are supposed to be responsible for, and put it on someone else. Own up to your actions, make sure you can provide for your kids before you have them, and if you do have them early, because it does happen, do your best to give them the best life you can. You should no longer be your top priority, your kids are.