[odepaj]

Originally Posted by SUBBYRU89

I was 19 when I had my first child...
You are trying to exclude the monetary facter, but in all reality money is the big thing. Do you know what formula costs? If your child has health problems do you know what it cost to keep traveling them to the specialist? It takes roughly $2K within the few months just for onesies and diapers...not including the actual baby clothing. Sure there might be "teens" out there with parents who will take the child at any given time or pay for any necessary debt brought on by the new baby, but in reality most grandparents don't. The cost of baby items such as cribs, walkers, playpens, toys, bottles, etc..is a big chunk of change. Granted..you get stuff from the baby shower, but a child grows rapidly in the first year so out goes all the simple stuff that was given to you (because really, who can afford to take from their own families and give to the new one)

You say welfare & WIC. Do you know the guide lines for them? They are not the same as a few years ago. You have 5 yrs. in your life time to collect any cash benefits from welfare. Any other benefits are determined by you family size and income. You have to be at the super poverty level to receive any if little help from them (they are trying to get rid of it all together)

That's only scratching the surface with financial stuff.

Emotional...as you grow up you make plans for your future. How many people do you know actually factor in a child at the age of 18-20? Most are planning where they are going to go to college. Opps get knocked up..there goes all those plans out the window...now you have to deal with the emotional bearings of not just taking care of yourself but to care for the life of another...to put all your hopes and dreams on the back burner and give every part of your being to this life (all while not losing your sense of self). So instead of going off and getting that degree you so wanted you have to pick up a job so you can keep this child in a comfortable living atmosphere (and when I say comfortable I mean roof, heat, water, electricity, land line, etc..) All this and so much more takes a toll on you emotionally.

Another emotional burden is the 3-4am feedings, the constant diaper changings, when the teething happens it's non-stop crying and drooling fest. This does not just take a toll on the mother (who is still trying to recover from birthing) but a toll on the dad if he chose to stick around (which is a whole other ball of wax in itself)

This is just small fragments of why I believe "teens" shouldn't have children until they've finished their education, travel a little bit and then are physically, financially and emotionally ready to take on such a huge responsibility.

There is only 1 person I know who has it cushy and that is because her parents keep her living in their 1/2 million dollar home, pay for all the child's expenses, take care of her needs, fly her to Hawaii whenever the urge hits her, and on top of it and she can come and go as she pleases doing whatever she wants. To me she is not a parent, her son is being raised by his grandparents.

I love my children with every ounce of my being, but I did not plan them and it has been one hell of a rocky road.

A planned child is completely different from an un-planned child.

Yes I agree, it is stupid for someone to plan to have a child at 17-20 (personally I don't want kids until 25).

But s**t happens and sometimes one comes along that wasn't planned. Thats more the debate here.

Finances are a big thing yes, but there are plenty of ways to counter that.

Emotional maturity I think is the major factor here. When you face the facts, there are plenty of stupid/idiotic people that shouldn't reproduce....

But that stupidity is usually what allows them to reproduce.

But you can't just say "oh, that person is only 17, their kid is gonna be messed up"

My ex is 23 (almost 24) and she is a worse parent than my 20 year old friend.

To much stuff to add to the equation to say that there is for sure an age where people are ready to have children.





Dustin