Today is "Doc" Day Both writers are old buddies who went out on their first deployment together in the mid nineties. Their current situations, however, are very different.

Doc in the Box
http://docinthebox.blogspot.com/

This blog is written by a Navy Corpsman out of San Diego who is with a Marine Helo Squadron. He's back in the Middle East for the third time!

Wed, March 29, 2006
Kuwaiting for a bit (excerp)
For the fifth time, I’m Kuwaiting till we make our move up north, not sure where I’m going to post this yet, for I am still sitting on the bus. Flew over here in an old 767, I’m used to flying Southwest and these were smaller seats then that. I had the distinct luck to find myself sitting between two large Marines and at each stop, I had to unpeel my self from the seat and stumble about without feeling in my legs for half an hour.

I’m with the same squadron as my last trip but an entirely new medical crew. Not flying CASEVAC this trip, letting the other two corpsman take the lead will I man the Leading Petty Officer position (flying the desk), I’ve flown enough my last two trips over.

This trip has been much more subdued then the prior ones, no crowds to see us off and we didn’t stop to see the huge support crowd in Maine. More then 2/3’s of the guys in my squadron have been over here before and there are 20 or so like me on their third trip. It’s odd to think that the business of war has become routine to many of us. It’s just another deployment with occasional bits of hostile fire and having to wear heavy body armor. Not to mention the lack of time off, alcohol, color or sex....

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Totum dependeat (Let it all hang out!)
http://petegutz.blogspot.com/

This is a fairly lighthearted blog by a Hospital Corpsman named Peter Gutierrez who is currently stationed at Camp Lemonier, Horn of Africa. It's a fairly new blog, just started this month:

I really enjoy his approach to writing. Perhaps part of the reason for his fun and quirky outlook is the fact that he's not on the front lines. But he regales his readers with stories about life with a bunch of Marines.


An example:

A break from the mundane routine often leads to raised eyebrows and a flurry of suspicious and cautious looks from the Marines. With tails tucked and ears pinned to their heads like a pack of confused coyotes, they tend to avoid a smiling Corpsman because they have an ingrained response to happy “docs” – a smiling Doc is one that is probably all too happy to be “bearing gifts” to spread amongst them either in the form of an immunization or medication – either way, it spells certain pain and doom for the ever wary Marines and an unexpected gift for the always sadistic Corpsman.

Today was one of those “out of the ordinary” days – today was “Malaria Pill” day!
....
Having dealt with Marines for a number of years, I have come to find that in order to discourage suspicious behavior you must entice the Marines in some way, shape or form by either appealing to their curiosity or politely and insistently tapping upon their often sick and slightly askew view of the world and things in general. Climbing upon the pulpit and performing a stirring and rousing “wrath of God” like sermon of the dangers of not taking a pill or getting an injection would be just as fruitful as trying to teach Quantum Theory to yard slugs! It just doesn’t make any sense.

No, you have to be a little bit more creative, demented and devious to seduce a candidate willingly.

Since the appeal here is “sick and twisted” that is just how you have to merchandise the product! In this case,Lariam or Mefloquine; our “drug of choice” for Malaria chemoprophylaxsis (a big word for medically induced prevention) during our brief stay here in the Horn of Africa.

Having read the drug information sheet, I had noticed that the “side-effects” of the drug were many: Dizziness, headache, sleep disorders, nightmares, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, abnormal coordination, confusion, hallucinations, forgetfulness, emotional problems including anxiety, aggression, agitation, depression, mood changes, panic attacks, psychotic or paranoid reactions, restlessness, and suicidal ideation.

But, two of the symptoms stand-out “head-and-shoulder” above all the others; those two symptoms would become the cornerstones of my marketing strategy and morph into the main “selling” points I would use when pandering the drug off on the hapless Marines. A sample conversation would often sound like this:

“Hey Doc, what is this crap?”

“It’s Mefloquine; it will help prevent you from getting Malaria when we get into Africa”

“Cool – does it work on snake bites also?”

“No. Just mosquito bites”

“So, what will happen if I don’t take it?”

“You’ll be at an increased risk of getting Malaria. Lot’s of mosquito’s over in Africa and plenty of crazy diseases”

“What are the side effects?”

“Hallucinations and nightmares”

“Cool!…Can I have two of them?”

“Not today – maybe when you’re feeling better you can have a couple.”

“Thanks, Doc!”

The sell is an easy one – appeal to the “sick and twisted” and you’ll get a guaranteed purchase every time! I guess having been with the FMF for 8 of my 10 years in the Navy, knowing how and when to make the sell sort of makes me a bit sick and twisted as well.

Guilty as charged (and happily so!).